


Wishing to Forget

by Anotsukai



Category: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3977077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anotsukai/pseuds/Anotsukai





	1. Chapter 1

Wishing to Forget  
Chapter 1

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

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Todd sighs once the jeep stops. His hands are still shaking. He looks up at the dark warehouse. Perfect site for a horror movie he thinks. The others get out and make their way to the opening loading dock. Pietro smiles at the others as he waits for them.

"This will be the last time," Lance hisses at Pietro.

Todd hops out of the jeep and quickly gets between the pair. He knows why Lance is mad. It's the same reason that Fred and himself are also mad. Why Wanda left.

"Yeah, yeah. I owe you and all that. I get it. So hurry it up! I swear you all moving at a snails pace deliberately," Pietro replies with a roll of his eyes before dashing inside.

"Why are we doing this yo? I thought we were done?" Todd asks, fighting hard not to turn around and hop away.

"Shut up Todd. This will be the last time. If it fails, we leave. Just...trust me. Not Pietro but me," Lance tells him.

Todd glances suspiciously towards the warehouse before nodding. Without another word he enters the warehouse with his fellow team mates.

Moments later, Todd is watching a group of other mutants walks into the room. Pietro's father hovers off to the side, waiting silently as the two groups look each other. Todd only recognizes two of the mutant's, Sabertooth and Pyro.

"Each of you will be separated and teamed up with two of my loyal and skilled men here," Magneto tells the young mutants.

"Separated?" Lance repeats, looking over at Pietro at the same time as Fred and Todd. Pietro turns away, refusing to meet any of their gazes.

"Yes. It is obvious that remaining together will slow any possible progress that you will be making," Magneto starts to explain.

"Just what is going on here?!" Lance shouts at the older man.

"We ain't going to separate. We're the Brotherhood," Fred adds.

"Man, no way. I'm out," Todd adds in his two cents before turning and starts to hop towards the exit. Just before he reaches the doorway, the metal door slams shut making Todd yelp out.

"No one is leaving. And no one will speak until I'm finished. You will follow my orders," Magneto tells the youths as bits of metal parts start flying around the room, creating a twister of metal around the young mutants. "Now as I was saying, you will be separated. And you will follow any order your new team mates give you from this moment on. Toad, your team mates are Pyro and Lockdown."

Todd feels himself shiver as the mutants named step forward. He knows Pyro is insane. As for the large, burly black haired man who is at his side, glaring down at the youth with a predatory smile, something about him makes Todd realize that this team up is some sort of punishment. He looks towards his former team mates but realizes they are not looking at him.

"Hey mate," Pyro greets him.

"Uh, hey," Todd replies nervously.

"This one needs to learn some manners. Don't you agree Pyro?" Lockdown asks.

"Now, now, maybe he's just shy. Let's give him a second to catch his breath. Besides, if it turns out that you're right and he needs to be taught some manners, we have the next two years to teach them to him," Pyro replies.

"T-two years?" Todd repeats in shock.

"Yeah mate, you get to spend the next two years with us. Don't worry. You do like Magneto says, follow our instructions, and all will be good," Pyro tells him.

Todd again looks back at his former team mates. This time he meets Lance's gaze. Lance nods to something his new team mates say before mouthing 'sorry' to Todd. Feeling the panic swell up, Todd takes a nervous step back.

"Well mate, time to show you to your new home. Be good and come with us," Pyro tells him as he stretches a hand out.

Todd doesn't accept it, instead tries to hop around them to look for a way out. But he feels something wrapped around his legs. Looking down he see's chains coming from the darkness and wrapped around his legs, preventing him from moving. He looks up in time to see a fist flying into his stomach. He is knocked backwards, gasping for breath.

"Hey!" Lance shouts out.

"Hey yourself. Do yourself a favor kid and stay out of this," Lockdown warns over his shoulder.

Todd looks up and finds Lance and Fred are red faced and glaring over in his direction. But their new team mates stand in the way and are quickly trying to calm the situation down.

"You better tell them you are okay before you get them in trouble," Pyro tells him.

"It-it's fine, yo! I'm good!" Todd shouts to his friends, hoping they will back down. He doesn't want them in trouble.

"Good boy. Now let's go to your new home. Take a last look at your pals, for you won't be seeing them again anytime soon," Lockdown tells him.

Not wanting another hit to the stomach, Todd looks at each of his former pals. He glares angrily at Pietro. Fred he tries to offer a weak smile to. Lance he simply looked at, keeping the gaze the longest. He wants Lance to know that he still trusts him. A rough shove knocks him down to the ground, breaking the eye contact. Todd gets up and without looking back he follows his new team mates out of the warehouse.

As it turns out, it was five years before he see's his former team mates again. Looking at them, he notices the tiniest changes in them. Pietro is now taller than Lance, slightly more muscle but still pretty much the same as before. Lance is also more built and has a slight beard. Freddie no longer has hair on top of his head. He could tell by the quick glances he takes of them that his appearance has surprised him. In the five years, Todd has grown a bit taller but still shorter than the others. He is still thin, possibly even thinner than before. His hair is longer, when he lowers his head, it quickly hides his face which is what he wants to happen. But he knows they saw the long burn mark on the right side of his face. He is grateful that they can't see the other scars.

"Toad?" Lance calls out cautiously. Todd thinks that his voice has deepened some.

"Greet your ol' team mates Toady," Lockdown orders from behind them.

"Hello Lance. Fred. Pietro," Todd greets each of his former teammates, not meeting any of their eyes.

"Well let's not keep our mighty leader waiting mates. Let's kick it in gear," Pyro tells them.

The other mutants walk past them, getting in to position for their latest mission. Todd remains still. His former friends move closer, except for Pietro.

"Todd? Todd are you okay?" Lance asks, his voice filled with concern.

Todd doesn't answer him. Instead he waits for the next order. Five years, this has been hard wired into his mind. He is to remain still until he is given an order. Then he must obey that order. Doing anything else is not acceptable. Nor tolerated.

"Toad, get over here!" Lockdown shouts.

Without a word to his friends, he turns and hops over to Lockdown and Pyro. He doesn't see Lance and Fred exchange a few words and the way they look sadly at him.

Within minutes, there is an all out battle. Mutants are fighting either against humans or other mutants. Powers are blasting things around them. Toad doesn't have to look to know that Magneto is hovering off to the left, watching the chaos he had put in action. Toad hops just as a red ray hits the ground. Cyclops he thinks. Reacting, he quickly spits some slime in the direction of the beam. Another mutant he isn't familiar with, comes rushing at him from behind. He waits until the last minute to back flip over the mutant then delivers a kick to the man's back. The training had paid off, he couldn't argue that. He goes over to the nearest wall and quickly hops up to get a better view.

His order was simple. Be a distraction. Do whatever is necessary. He is mildly aware of his body shaking. He wasn't doing everything that was necessary. He was disobeying the order. If caught, he would be punished. But he fights against this thinking. Since hearing that the X-men will be taking part of this battle, knowing that they will be here, he had formed a plan in his head. One that neither Lockdown or Pyro were aware of. They believed he was broken down so far that he no longer had his own thoughts. To some degree this was true. But he had enough. He couldn't bare it another day. Seeing how his old friends had looked him had helped him decide this. They didn't know it but they had given him some strength.

His plan is very simple. Get captured by the X-men or get killed. In order for the first one to work, he needed to find a certain X-man. If he can't find him soon, then he will go to the second one. Time is running out. He watches as Rogue takes out Pyro. He smiles at this before continuing to scan the area. Just as he was about to give up and look for a way to end things, he spots a puff of smoke over to the far right of the fighting. Quickly he searches for the second puff which happens a few feet from him.

Nightcrawler is unaware that someone has been looking for him. His thoughts are only on the fight at hand. He quickly teleports behind the woman who had just tried to spit acid at him. When she turns around, he quickly knocks her out. Just as he turns to see if he could help one of his team mates, someone slams into his back. He rolls across the ground for a moment before looking up and seeing a old rival he hadn't seen in five years.

"Hey Nightcreeper," Toad greets.

"Toad. Been a while," Nightcrawler replies as he quickly gets up. The two start to circle each other.

"No time for that. I need a favor," Toad tells him as he glances around.

"Why would I do any favors for you? Besides, we're in the middle of a battle here Toad," Nightcrawler replies before teleporting behind Toad.

Toad, expecting this, quickly turns and swings his fist that he knows will fail to hit his mark.

"Take me out. Knock me out and take me to the institute," Toad whispers with his failed hit, knowing the blue mutant hears him.

"Why?" Is the only response he gets before his legs are swept out from under him.

"It's either that or I die fuzzy. I promise I will tell you everything. I will tell your Professor everything I know about Magneto's plan. I'll let him in my head if that's what it takes. So please, take me out. Please," Toad begs him in a low voice.

Nightcrawler doesn't know what to think. Here he is on the battlefield, fighting Toad who he thought of as a friend at one point before disappearing, and the same Toad is begging him to knock him out. Could this be a trick?

"Nein. I'll take you out but I won't take you to the institute," Nightcrawler finally replies.

To his surprise, Toad stands up and lowers his arms. Nightcrawler watches as Toad raises his head and looks around them. When the hair falls out of his face, Nightcrawler is able to see Toad's face for the first time. His golden eyes take in the the burn scar, the paleness of his skin, the dark circles under his eyes. And the tears. Toad seems to find what he is looking for before nodding and smiling to Nightcrawler before running towards the right.

"Todd?" Nightcrawler whispers the name before being drawn to chase after the fellow mutant.

Toad continues to run rather than hop and it takes a minute before Nightcrawler spots what Toad has seen. Wolverine is fighting a group of mutants, trying his best not to kill them but not holding back his claws. Toad jumps up into the air towards Wolverine. Wolverine senses something and turns, his claws ready. But before the claws could tear into Toad's flesh, Nightcrawler is able to grab Toad's shoulder and ports them away.

Before Toad could realize that they are now on the X-jet, Nightcrawler delivers a hard blow to the side of Toad's head, knocking him out. Nightcrawler let's Todd's body slump to the ground. Kurt is breathing heavily as he looks down at Todd's unconscious body.

"What on earth has happened to you Todd?" Kurt asks. He looks around and finds some rope kept on the jet for emergencies. He ties Todd's hands behind his back, then ties his ankles. Carefully he drags the mutant, taking a moment to be surprised at how light Todd has become, to the back of the jet to a cell meant for transporting violent mutants. He sets Todd against the wall before leaving and locking the cell. But Kurt doesn't return to the battlefield for a few minutes. Instead he watches Todd and wonders what happened in the last five years.


	2. Chapter 2

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 2

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Todd wakes up, he finds himself in a dark cell. He tries to move his arms or legs, he finds them tied together behind him. Panic fills him as he strains to look around. Had his actions betrayed him somehow? Was he locked up and waiting for Magneto to decide on his punishment? Is Pyro and Lockdown waiting outside? Will they be coming in any minute to punish him? He tries to struggle against the ropes desperately. Then it comes back to him. He remembers Nightcrawler porting him to somewhere then punching him.

"Thank you. Oh thank you," Todd mutters as he stops his struggles and rests his head on the mat.

The door opens and he closes his eyes. He feels his chest tightens as who ever walks over to him. He feels himself starting to tremble. Todd bites down on his lip to keep from making any sound.

"Don't make any rash movements and I'll cut you loose. When I do, I expect there to not be any trouble. Are we clear bub?" Wolverine asks.

Todd opens his eyes and glances up at the X-man through his long hair. He see's the heated glare that normally would make him flinch. But instead of flinching, he sighs happily. Toad nods his head in agreement. He feels the rope around his ankles fall away but the bit of rope around his wrists are still very much secured. Wolverine lifts him up to a standing position and while gripping his shoulder, leads him out of the small cell.

A few minutes later, he is pushed into a chair. The rope around his wrists are finally removed, allowing him to let his hands rest on his lap. Stealing glances, he looks around the room he is in. He is in an office and surrounded by members of the X-men. Almost all are glaring at him, with the exception of the Professor. Only the Professor is kind enough to offer a smile.

"Mr. Tolansky. Kurt tells us that you asked him to bring you here. Is that correct?" Professor Xavier asks.

"Yes sir," Todd answers quickly.

"Why did you make such a request?" The Professor questions, folding his hands together.

Todd doesn't answer. The question is too vague. He needs it to be narrowed down. He's too afraid to answer and give too much information. Or more simply put, talking too much. Todd was taught to give only simple answers. No one wants to hear him talk.

"Let me ask you a few simple questions Mr. Tolansky," Professor Xavier offers after picking up on Todd's thoughts, "Starting with whether you can offer information on Magneto's future plans?"

"Yes, I can," Todd answers.

"And what do you want in exchange for this?" The Professor asks, carefully observing Todd's few behaviors.

"To stay here. Lock me up if you have to but please let me stay here," Todd pleas.

"No way," he hears Summers mutter.

"You can't be serious," Kitty comments.

"Professor," another student calls out.

Todd could feel himself growing warm like a lamp has been directed at him. His mind is reeling. He didn't think of what to do if the Professor refused his request.

"Calm down Mr. Tolansky. Take a deep breath," Professor Xavier instructs the fellow mutant.

Toad obeys and takes a deep breath. Slowly he feels himself calming down.

"If you were allowed to stay here, would you cause any trouble?"

Todd shakes his head.

"If Magneto came here personally for you, what would you do?"

"Hide," Todd answers honestly.

"You fear for your life Mr. Tolansky?" The Professor asks quietly.

"I'm afraid...of my life," Todd answers, glancing up at the Professor and allowing his eyes to meet his for just a moment.

"I see. Everyone, please give me and Mr. Tolansky here some time to talk," Professor Xavier requests from the others in the room.

There were a few complaints but they leave, emptying the office. Wolverine stands by the doorway.

"Charles, I am going to be outside this door," Wolverine tells the Professor before stepping out and closing the door.

Todd hears a light hum and notices that the Professor wheels himself closer to Todd. He stops when he is positioned right in front of him.

"Mr.Tolansky, it seems that you have made a very tough decision today. One that still terrifies you even now with you sitting before me," Professor Xavier comments.

Todd isn't sure how to respond so he simply nods his head in agreement.

"I will allow you to stay since I believe your life is in danger," Professor Xavier tells him.

This bit of news hits Todd, bursting something inside of him. He raises his hands to his face and begins to cry into them. The Professor watches him in silence. Though he isn't delving into the young man's mind, he still picks up on images that are being almost thrown at him from Todd. Images that make Charles feel nothing but sympathy and compassion.

"Thank you," Todd whispers.

"You're welcome. Don't worry, I'll make sure you will be safe here," Professor Xavier promises. He waits until Todd seems to calm down a bit before continuing. "Now Mr. Tolansky, what do you know about Magneto's next move? How about we start with the objective?"

An hour later, Xavier mentally calls Logan back into the room. Logan enters the room and walks over to the pair. He notices that Toad is looking at the floor, his hair obscuring his face.

"Everything alright?" Logan asks.

"Everything is fine Logan. Mr. Tolansky has given me some very useful information concerning Magneto and his next plan of action. I will go over that with you later though. For now I would like you to escort Mr. Tolansky here to the room he was in earlier," he tells Logan before turning towards Todd. "This will only be temporary Mr. Tolansky. I will have a room set up for you by morning. For now you should rest."

Todd nods his acceptance of this.

"Come on Toad," Logan mutters.

Toad stands up and follows Logan quietly as they leave the room. As they made their way back to the cell, Logan keeps looking over at the fellow mutant. He remembers a night years ago when he first laid eyes on the Toad. He had just came out of the institute and Logan had been more than ready to have a little one on one action. As soon as the claws came out, the kid had cried out and covered his face. Now the same kid is walking besides him. And something tells him that if he extends his claws now, he would receive a similar reaction.

"Is there anything you need?" Logan asks.

Todd almost stops at the question. He swallows nervously before shaking his head.

"Hmm. Well since it looks like you will at least be spending the night so I'll see to it that you get at least a blanket and a pillow. Maybe something else for you to wear," Logan mumbles after taking in the torn and ill fitting battle uniform. He breaths in and wrinkles his nose. "After getting a shower first. So for now, relax in here until I come back for you."

Logan stops outside the cell door and watches Todd walk inside. He closes the door and glances inside to see that Todd has sat down on the bench, hugging his knees. Despite how much time has passed and knowing the kid is older, Logan still see's the young mutant as just that, a kid. He hears a bamf and turns to find Kurt looking at him.

"Hey elf. Something you need?" Logan asks.

"No. Actually I came to see if he is back in there yet," Kurt answers.

"Just brought him back. Are you going to talk to him?" Logan asks as he turns his gaze back to the former Brotherhood mutant.

"I...I don't know yet. I don't know if I should. He is the enemy," Kurt replies, looking away.

"Up to you bub. Just be careful if you do decide to talk to him," Logan warns before walking away.

Kurt slowly walks over to the door and after a few minutes, he peeks through the small window of the door. He notices Todd is sitting vey still, his face hidden behind his knees. Like Logan, Kurt remembers the past he shared with Todd. At first it was very rocky. Being on opposite sides didn't help things. But after the time when he helped Todd save Wanda, things had started to change. Even more so after the battle with Apocalypse.

He remembers the last time he saw Todd. It was over five years ago. It was Todd who suggest they hang out after running into him outside the institute. They spent the afternoon together not doing much but talking and later catching a movie. It was after the movie that Todd mentioned that he and the rest of the Brotherhood gang were going to go away for a few days. He never said what they were going to do or where they were going. But he insisted that they would come back and that they should hang out again then. Kurt agreed. He really enjoyed spending time with Todd and though he wouldn't admit it at the time, he would rather hang out with Todd than anyone else including his then girlfriend, Amanda. But as time went by, Todd never came by.

After two weeks, he went to the Brotherhood boarding house. He remembers how alarmed he was when he found no signs that anyone had been there for weeks. How panicked he was when he revealed this to the Professor and how he pleaded with him to search for the missing mutants. He searched for Todd over the next week, watching the news and making phone calls. But his search came up with nothing but dead ends. His friend had simply vanished with the rest of his team. Kurt was hurt and angry for a long time. In time, he believed Todd had lied to him and he needed to accept that. So he did. Or at least thought he did.

Yet as he looks in on his former rival turned friend, he feels the sense of loss come over him. It was the same feeling that haunted him late at night sometimes when he couldn't sleep. He wonders if in all this time Todd had felt like this as well. Kurt decides there is only one way to find out. So he teleports into the cell.

Todd smells the familiar scent of sulfur. He knows he isn't alone in the cell. But he couldn't bring himself to look at the old friend. Instead he remains as he is.

"Todd?" Kurt calls out the name.

Todd feels the overwhelming desire to respond. It was just like when he saw his former team mates again. But he can't. All the strength he had to break through what he had been taught was spent. He is now a prisoner in his own mind again. All he could do was hope that fuzzy will start asking questions so he could talk.

"Todd, are you okay?" Kurt asks as he crouches down in front of him, trying to look into Todd's face.

Todd sighs and nods his head. Not the right question he thinks. Keep trying he mentally begs Kurt.

"No you're not Todd. I can tell. Something is wrong. Very wrong," Kurt shares his thoughts out loud. "Please, talk to me."

"You have to ask the right questions," Todd tells him before realizing he said the words out loud. Maybe there is a little strength left he thinks.

"The right questions? I don't understand Todd," Kurt replies as he scratches the back of his neck. This is certainly not the same Todd from years ago. Again Kurt wonders what happened.

Todd opens his mouth but closes it without uttering a word. Instead he closes his eyes and waits.

"The right questions? Are there only certain questions you can answer?" Kurt asks, receiving a nod. "Okay, then let's play twenty questions. Why were you with Magneto?"

"I was completing a mission for him," Todd answers directly.

"What was the mission?" Kurt questions.

"To be a distraction."

"For what?"

"I don't know."

"Was being captured part of that plan?"

"No," Todd answers. His mind flashes of images of fire or chains coming out of the shadows and he shivers.

"It felt like you were looking for me out there. Were you?" Kurt asks hesitantly.

"Yes," Todd admits.

"Todd, you have been missing for just a little over five years. Do you want to tell me what has happened to you?" Kurt asks, as he watches Todd closely.

"Yes. But I can't," Todd whispers. He opens his eyes and glances at Kurt, relieved to see concern rather than anger. Through these glances he notes the small changes in his blue furred friend. He seems to have grown even taller than Todd himself now. His body still lean and athletic. The only really noticeable difference was that Kurt now kept his hair shorter, to just past his elvish ears. Todd couldn't help but think this small difference looks good for the fuzzy night creeper.

"It's okay. When you can, I'll listen. Todd, after you disappeared, did you...miss me?" Kurt struggles to get this question out. He doesn't know if it is the right time to ask or not. But he feels desperate to know the answer.

Todd nods his head and forces himself to meet Kurt's gaze. He smiles for just a moment before turning his face away and pressing it against his knees.

Kurt feels himself smiling in return. Five years may have passed but Kurt realizes that some things haven't really changed.

"Alright. You seem tired. Maybe you should rest. We were fighting in a battle earlier after all," Kurt suggests.

Kurt stands up and takes a step towards the door. He stops when he hears the sharp intake of breath. Looking back over at Todd, Kurt again finds himself watching the fellow mutant closely. Finally he shakes his head and decides to sit down next to Todd.

"If you don't mind, I will stay with you for a bit. I won't ask any more questions though," Kurt tells him as he leans back against the wall and brings up his right leg which his tail curls around. He thinks he see's Todd nod in acceptance of this. They remain like this until Logan returns with the items he had said he would get. Kurt vanishes in his purplish mist as Logan leads Todd out of the cell for a shower.

The next morning, Todd is taken back to the Professor's office. Logan seemed to have the responsibility of taking him to and from his cell, whether this was voluntary or not, Todd didn't know nor did he dare ask. In fact, he didn't say anything to the X-man. He simply did as he was told. So when Logan told him to sit down in the chair, he did.

"Good morning Mr. Tolansky. Are you feeling alright this morning?" The Professor asks. After the previous conversation with Toad, Xavier had thought over the best possible way to communicate with the broken man before him. He notes the new clothes that seem to hang on Todd's bone thin frame.

Todd nods then waits.

"Good. A room is being set up for you as we speak. It should be done by the time you leave my office," Professor Xavier informs him.

Again Todd nods.

"After this conversation, I would like you to go to the infirmary. I want Hank to examine you. Would you be alright with this?" The Professor asks.

He watches as Todd grows tense. After several minutes, he nods in agreement.

"Is there anything we should be aware of now?"

Todd thinks about this question. He knows what could show up during the medical examination. The idea of being so vulnerable scares him. But in exchange for being allowed to stay here, he would submit to anything. As for the question, he decides to give them a little preparation as to what they will eventually find out.

"Scars. Lots of them. Not all will be easily seen," Todd answers, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Alright, I will let Hank know. Were these scars given to you by Magneto?" Professor Xavier asks. If it turns out that Magneto did personally harm this young man, then that would mean that Magneto has become even less than the man Xavier once knew.

Todd shakes his head.

"So it wasn't Magneto. Can you tell me the names of who did? Remember Todd, you are safe here," the Professor reminds him.

"Pyro and Lockdown," Todd answers, trembling as the names left his lips.

"Are you ready to talk about what you went through in the time you went missing?" Professor Xavier asks though he knows the answer. He needs Todd to realize that the door for him to talk about it when he is ready is always open.

As expected, Todd shakes his head.

"That's alright Todd. I didn't expect any differently. This will take time."

Todd glances at the Professor. He wants to ask something but can't seem to gather the courage he had previously to speak freely.

"You are wondering if I will read your thoughts," The Professor states the thought out loud, relieving Todd from struggling to bring it up himself. "I try to refrain from using my power in such a way. I prefer to allow the person to speak their thoughts rather than invading the privacy of their mind. I picked up your earlier thoughts to help you. I will not always be doing this. So I hope that with time, you can share your thoughts openly. But again, that will take time. I believe we should meet like this each morning when possible. Is that alright with you?" The Professor asks.

Todd nods in agreement.

The Professor smiles kindly and sends a mental summons to both Logan and Hank. They wait quietly until there is a knock on the door.

"Come in Hank," the Professor beckons.

"Good morning Professor. Mr. Tolansky. Are we ready?" Hank asks.

"Go ahead and follow Hank down to the infirmary Todd," the Professor instructs. He mentally shares his observations with Hank and the comment Todd had made concerning scars.

Hank nods and leads Todd out of the office as Logan is about to enter. Logan watches Hank and Toad walk down the hallway before entering the office, closing the door behind him.

"Something doesn't seem right Charles," Logan comments.

"No, it certainly isn't," Xavier agrees.

"So what is his story?" Logan asks.

"He hasn't told me," Xavier answers.

"Come on Charles. We both know he doesn't need to with you. I know you hate using your power like that but..." Logan shrugs rather than finishing the sentence.

"Yes, I do hate using my power in such a way. But as you implied, I did see his thoughts and memories as we talked," Xavier replies with a deep sigh.

"We have our work cut out for us, don't we?" Logan asks.

"Yes. He's been trained to do nothing more than follow orders or answer very specific questions. He was not allowed to do anything on his own. We are going to have to keep this in mind as we work with him," Professor Xavier shares.

"How about the others? They are not happy that he is here. They have been giving Kurt the cold shoulder since they found out he was the one who brought him here," Logan informs the Professor.

"I will have a meeting with them. I can not blame them for how they feel however. He was part of Magneto's plan yesterday. But we can't turn him away. This will just have to be an adjustment everyone has to make," Professor Xavier states. He looks over to his fellow comrade.

"You know what you're doing Charles. I trust you. Still, I suggest we keep a close eye on him for a while. Just in case," Logan suggests.

"You do what you feel is necessary Logan," Professor Xavier agrees.

"Then I am going to go wait for him outside the infirmary. I doubt he will give Hank any trouble but can't hurt to be prepared," Logan tells him before leaving the room.

Professor Charles Xavier wheels himself over to the large picture window and looks out at the view. He wonders where Magneto is at this very minute and if he even knows what had happened to the young mutant that was under his control. Or did he even care?


	3. Chapter 3

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 3

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of hours later, Hank steps out of the infirmary to meet with Logan. He noticed Logan had been waiting shortly after Hank had brought Todd down. No one would believe the patience the man has at times. Because the patience is rare, Hank doesn't comment on the obvious cigar smoke.

"There are days I hate playing doctor," Hank admits.

"That doesn't sound like the start of a good report," Logan comments, raising his brows in curiosity.

"Sadly, there is no good report I can give. He's getting dressed right now," Hank replies.

"What is the short version then?" Logan asks, knowing the kid has been doing any task he is given as quickly as possible.

"Short version? The good news is that he isn't sick. No diseases or viruses. But that's the only good news I can give. Over all, it seems like anything that could happen to him, did. There are scars everywhere, mostly on his back and legs," Hank reports.

"Scars from what?" Logan asks, not at all like the report.

"Burns. All linear. Very precise. Almost like he was somehow whipped with fire," Hank answers.

"Pyro," Logan growls the name.

"Wouldn't surprise me. Along with these scars, his feet shows signs of being badly burn on more than one occasion. I wouldn't be surprise if he is still in some pain when he walks. Add the findings of healed bones, the bruises on his wrists not to mention the rest of his body, and being extremely malnourished, well, like I said earlier, I can't think of much else more that could have happened to him," Hank finishes.

"Did he tell you..." Logan starts to ask.

"No. He wouldn't say a word during the examination. There are some other concerning matters but I can't confirm anything until he does open up to us," Hank explains.

"You're right Hank. There is no good report here," Logan mutters.

Behind them the door opens and Todd steps out. He doesn't make eye contact, instead he looks down at his feet, letting his hair hide his face. Logan and Hank exchange looks for a moment.

"Alright kid, let me show you your room. Then we're getting some food in you," Logan tells him, gesturing for Todd to follow him. He doesn't need to look back to know the kid is following him.

Nor is Logan surprised to find Kurt waiting by Todd's new room. Without being asked, he opens the bedroom door and steps back, allowing Logan and Todd to go in. Logan watches as Todd stands in the middle of the room, stealing careful glances around the room. The room itself is smaller than most of the bedrooms on the second floor. Logan knows that this room wasn't originally a bedroom but a storage room. They worked on cleaning it out this morning and setting it up for Todd since all the rooms upstairs were already occupied and both himself and the Professor knew no one would be willing to share a room with him. Still, the room was set up nicely. There was a bed on the right with a night stand on either side. Across from it was a long dresser and a small bookcase.

"Looks good," Logan comments, turning to look at Todd who nods in agreement. "Now that you know where your room is, how about getting something to eat? Kurt, would you mind showing him to the kitchen? I need to speak with the Professor. Make sure he eats," Logan requests.

"Of course," Kurt agrees.

Logan leaves the two alone as he goes to the Professor's office. Kurt looks back at Todd for a moment before sitting down on the bed.

"What do you think of you room Todd?" Kurt asks.

Todd only nods his approval.

"Take a seat on the bed," Kurt instructs him in hopes it will encourage Todd to relax.

Todd finally moves from the center of the room and sits on the edge of the bed, with a noticeable space between him and Kurt. He reaches out to touch the warm inviting blanket on top but before he does he quickly sets his hands on his lap.

"Todd, is there something you would like to have? While you're here I mean?" Kurt asks.

Todd starts to shake his head before he stops himself. He wants to talk to Kurt if no one else. So he takes in a deep breath.

"I have more than I need. More than I've had in a long time," Todd replies quietly.

"What do you mean? Surely you had a room where you were staying," Kurt inquires. He felt strangely nervous about where this conversation was heading.

Todd shakes his head. "No. I slept on the floor in the hallway. Except on some nights," Todd whispers. He starts to tremble when he thinks about the times he was allowed to sleep on the bed. And what he had to do to be allowed such a luxury. He see's an image of shadowy chains crawl along the bed. He cries out as he quickly gets up off the bed.

"Todd!" Kurt calls out, alarmed by the sudden act of fear his fellow mutant is expressing.. He watches as Todd backs up to the dresser before sinking down. Kurt gets up and kneels down in front of Todd.

"I'm sorry Todd. I shouldn't have asked." Kurt apologizes.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Todd tells him.

"How about we go and get something to eat now?" Kurt offers, hoping this will remove the terror from Todd's eyes.

Todd nods and slowly gets up at the same time Kurt does. Kurt doesn't say anything more as he leads Todd to the kitchen.

Kurt spends most of the day with Todd, for the exception of the scheduled Danger Room exercises. During those, he left Todd in his new room. He had thought about asking Todd if he would like to watch the practice but decided not to push the toad like mutant too much. Since the earlier bedroom incident, Todd had remained silent.

As it turns out, Kurt is glad Todd isn't watching the exercises. Specially when he get shocked for the third time.

"Ahh!" He cries out as the metal tentacle releases his ankle after giving him a painful jolt.

"Pay attention Nightcrawler!" Cyclops shouts.

"I'm trying to! Kitty, you are suppose to be covering for me," Kurt calls to the brunette.

"Like, sorry. Maybe you should just focus for once," Kitty fires back as she phases through the machine.

"I am focused!" Kurt shouts as he teleports to dodge another laser blast. When he appears, he gets knocked down by Rogue who accidentally runs into him.

"Ouch! Dang it Kurt!" Rogue mutters as she looks down towards Kurt who rubs his head painfully.

"Time out!" Cyclops calls out.

The Danger room ceases to function as the team regroups around Kurt.

"You okay?" Cyclops asks.

Kurt is about to answer when he notices that Scott is addressing Rogue rather than him.

"Ah'm fine. Someone just has to watch where he shows up," Rogue replies.

"That's it," Kurt hisses in anger. He just can't take it another minute.

"Kurt, you really need to..." Scott starts to say when Kurt stands up and storms right up to Scott.

"Nein! I don't need to do anything! It's all of you that has been not doing your part! We are suppose to be a team!" He shouts at Scott.

"We are Kurt," Scott says evenly.

"Then why am I being hung out to dry?! Every time I turn around, the support I am suppose to have isn't there!" Kurt points out angrily.

"Maybe it's because of what you did Kurt," Scott says evenly.

"And what exactly are you talking about?" He asks even though he already knows why. His tail is whipping the air behind him as he waits for the words.

"We weren't suppose to take anyone prisoner," Scott answers.

"So this is about Toad," Kurt replies.

"Why did ya bring him Kurt?" Rogue asks.

"Yeah, explain that to us," Kitty adds.

"You should have focused on the objective Kurt. And no where in our objective did it say we were suppose to bring a Brotherhood member home for dinner," Scott puts in.

"I did focus on the objective. I did my part. He came to me, I didn't seek him out," Kurt tells them.

"Didn't you search for him when he and the rest of the Brotherhood disappear?" Bobby asks.

"Yes I did," Kurt admits. "But so did Kitty."

"Yeah Kurt, I did but I didn't bring him home after fighting him," Kitty replies.

"If he asked you to, if he begged you to, would you?" Kurt asks.

"No," Kitty answers. "He made his choice Kurt. Same as Toad."

Kurt doesn't reply. Instead he looks at each of his team mates. He knew they wouldn't like his decision.

"Just tell us why Kurt. You owe us that much," Scott tells him.

"I can't. I...don't even know why," Kurt admits to his team.

"That isn't good enough," Scott replies.

"Everyone," Jean's voice interrupts. The team look up at the Danger room observation deck where the red head had been monitoring the exercise. "I think we need to take a break."

"A break is a good idea. I think you all need a break. From me," Kurt mutters before teleporting out of the Danger Room.

"Maybe...we were too hard on him," Rogue comments.

Kurt appears in his room. Quickly he changes out of his field uniform, throwing it into the corner. Once dressed casually, he walks over to the mirror in his room. Kurt takes a good look at himself. He's knows he has physically changed over the past five years. What he didn't realize that a change has been taken place under his skin as well. He just became aware of it when he saw Todd again. This change is the reason he saved Todd from being harmed by Logan. It's why at the end, he did bring Todd to the institute like the Brotherhood mutant had asked him. Kurt looks into his own yellow glowing eyes.

"What does this all mean?" He asks his reflection.

Later that evening, when the X-men turn in for the night, Todd is in his room, standing in the dark. He doesn't dare to turn on the light. Instead, his eyes adjust to the darkness. He's looking at the bed, waiting. Will it happen again? Will he see them? After a long period of time, he finally moves to the bed. He pulls the blankets back and carefully lays himself down. Todd covers himself and again finds himself waiting. Without realizing it, he closes his eyes.

The sleep is peaceful at first. Then he wakes. He heard it, the click. Someone is in the room with him and just closed the door. Now there is the creaks of the floorboards. Someone is walking toward the bed. He can't see in this darkness. A whimper escapes him when the side of the bed dips.

"Toady, I know you're awake," a deep voice whispers.

"No..." Todd moans.

Looking at the wall, he see's them. The chains coming out of the shadows. He is unable to move as they snake their way towards him. He shudders as they begin to coil around his body. Painfully they force his hands above his head, the chains are bruising his wrists. They pull his legs apart and hold him down to the bed. He is still unable to see in this darkness but he could feel the heavy weight of the man as they climb on top of his body. A rough skin hand caresses his face.

"Shh. Don't make me get Pyro and have him whip you again. Or is that what you want?" The voice asks.

Todd shakes his head as he starts to cry. His mind is screaming two words over and over. 'Not again'. The man's hand gazes down from Todd's face, tracing the skin of his neck to his chest.

"Now be a good Toady and just relax," the voice orders.

Todd suddenly could see the man's face when he lowers his head as if to kiss him. Todd screams out just as he feels the man's breath on his face.

Todd hits the floor as he screams. He opens his eyes and struggles to get up. The blankets are wrapped around himself tightly from the tossing and turning he did, so he tears at them to get free. Then he crawls back towards the middle of the floor. It takes him several minutes to realize that it was just a dream. But he doesn't go back to the bed or pull the blankets over to himself. Instead he lays curled up in a ball in the middle of the floor. Todd refuses to allow himself to go back to sleep. This is how Ororo finds him when he comes to take Todd to the Professor.

"Mr. Tolansky? Are you alright?" Ororo asks, looking him over with concern. She was never fond of this particular young mutant but even she knows when to set aside her personal feelings.

Todd nods his head as he sits up.

"Are you sure?"

Again Todd nods.

"Alright then. Here are some more clean clothes. Go ahead and change. Then I will take you to meet with the Professor," she tells him as she hands him the bundle of clothes. She gives him an encouraging nod before stepping out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"How is he this morning?" She hears the Professor ask her in her thoughts.

"He was laying in the middle of the floor. Judging by the bags under his eyes, I don't think he slept well last night," she replies in her mind.

"And what are your impressions of him?"

"I agree with Logan. Something...is wrong," Ororo comments mentally.

The door opens and Todd peers out cautiously. He meets Ororo's gaze for only a second before stepping out of his room.

"All set Mr. Tolansky?" Ororo asks.

Todd nods. Ororo tries to smile comfortingly towards him before she leads the way to the Professor's office.

When they reach the office, Ororo knocks on the door. She opens it and steps back letting Todd step past her to walk into the office. He notices that she doesn't come in as well but simply closes the door.

"Good morning Mr. Tolanksy. Please, take a seat," Professor Xavier greets. He moves himself around his desk as Todd sits down in the nearest chair. "How was your first night?"

Todd suddenly shivers as he remembers the nightmare.

"Mr. Tolansky?"

Todd shakes his head as his body shivers. The Professor watches with concern. After a moment, he closes his eyes and reaches into Todd's mind.

"You are alright Todd. You are safe now. No one can hurt you here," the Professor whispers into Todd's mind.

Todd's head shots up, his eyes wide as he stares ahead. After a moment, he takes a deep breath and his body becomes still.

"Do you know?" Todd asks in a strained voice. He doesn't need to specify what he is referring to.

"No. I will not pry into your memories," the Professor tells him firmly.

Todd becomes quiet for a few minutes and the Professor this time to take in what he just told him. What Todd asks surprises him.

"You could see my memories if you wanted though. Could you...make me forget them?" Todd asks.


	4. Chapter 4

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 4

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, Todd is back in his room. He turned down the offer to eat breakfast. He just wanted to be alone. The Professor told him that he didn't have the power to alter or erase memories. But Todd didn't believe him. How could the world's most powerful telepath not have that ability? No, the Professor was sticking to his principles. But Todd couldn't understand why the Professor can not see that this was not a normal situation. When the Professor refused to erase his memories, Todd asked the Professor to look at his memories. He actually begged him to. But again he was turned down. Not wanting to hear anymore disappointment, Todd stopped talking. After it became clear that he was not going to respond to any of the Professor's questions, the session was ended. The Professor said that later this afternoon they will have another session. Hopefully by then, Todd might talk.

Todd is sitting against the dresser hugging his knees when Kurt knocks and comes in. He doesn't look up at Kurt but catches a glimpse of the blue tail and oddly shaped feet. He smiles at this but his smile is hidden by both his long messy hair and his knees.

"Good morning Todd," Kurt greets as he sits himself down in front of Todd.

Todd opens his mouth to return the greeting but quickly closes it. A familiar voice in his thoughts reminds him that he hasn't been given permission nor instructed to greet Kurt. He sighs instead.

"Am I bothering you?" Kurt ask when he notices Todd sigh. He had come here to try to get a few more answers but Kurt thinks that maybe he should have waited.

Todd shakes his head. He hates that he can't speak freely. But each time he considers doing so, the same voice reminds him that no one wants to hear him speak. His back even starts to burn at the thought.

"Then it's alright to talk? Just have to ask questions, right?" Kurt questions.

Todd nods.

"Okay. Why can't you talk unless someone asks you the right questions?" Kurt begins. This isn't the question he wants to ask but he knows he has to be patient.

"It's what I was taught," Todd answers.

"How?" Kurt asks.

"When I would make a mistake, it was corrected," Todd recites from memory, his voice starting to sound distant.

"Can you tell me how that was done?" Kurt asks hesitantly, knowing he won't like the answer.

"Tell me to show you," Todd whispers.

"Can't you..." Kurt starts to say but stops himself. Todd isn't trying to avoid the question. He is telling Kurt how he can answer it. Kurt takes a deep breath. "Show me how that was done Todd."

Slowly Todd shifts himself, turning so that his back is towards Kurt. When he lifts the back of the grey sweater he is wearing up and pulls it over his head, he hears Kurt gasp. Todd doesn't dare look back, instead he closes his eyes.

Kurt's yellow eyes follow the layers of scars across the pale grey skin of Todd's back. There seemed to be no bit of skin that hasn't been scarred. With how thin Todd was, the bones of his spine being evident for example, Kurt believes that even these must some how be scarred. He reaches his hand out to touch the permanently damaged skin but stops himself before his thick fingers connect to the horror before him.

"That's enough Todd. I understand. Please, cover back up," Kurt tells him, his voice growing heavy with emotion.

Todd puts the sweater back on but doesn't turn around to face Kurt.

The two sit in silence for several minutes, one unable to speak his thoughts, the other unable to think of what to say. Finally Kurt breaks the silence.

"Why did you leave? Why did you join Magneto? I thought you were done with him back then. So why did you go with him? Why didn't you tell me? Did you know this was going to happen to you? Why didn't you try to get away? Or find some way to contact me? I would have helped you, didn't you know that?! I would have done everything in my power to save you! So tell me why!" Kurt shouts, knowing that there is no way Todd could answer these questions. Yet these are the questions he has been wanting to ask. Some he's been wanting to ask for the last five years. Kurt stands up, wiping his eyes and starts to leave the room.

"It was suppose to be for the last time. Pietro swore it would be the last time. Lance said that if things fell through, it would be over. Lance told me to trust him. I did. It wasn't suppose to be five years. Or two years. Only a few days. That is what Pietro said. A few days. But it wasn't a few days. It wasn't even two years! Needed more training. That's what they reported," Todd tells Kurt, pushing himself to answer the questions Kurt had asked. He's shaking and his voice is threatening to give out on him.

"We didn't know what was going to happen. Except maybe Pietro. I tried to back out but it was too late. Much too late. After that, they never allowed me a moment to even think of escaping. There was no way I could reach you. No phones, no computers, no paper, never allowed outside. Always loc..." Todd stops here, unable to finish the word. It's a part of that name, he thinks. He can't say that name again. Not right now. Todd hugs his knees even tighter and fights the tears. Something else he can't allow himself to do.

"Todd..." Kurt says the fellow mutant's name. He wants to say more but now it's him that isn't able to speak. As it turns out, Todd didn't need Kurt to say anything else to be able to finish.

"I...I hoped you would somehow find me. Or that we would run into each other. We did. It took a long time but we did. And you did save me fuzzy. I wouldn't...I wasn't going to live like that for another year," Todd finishes. His chest feels so tight, making it suddenly hard to breath. Yet when Kurt puts a hand on his shoulder, he finds that he is still able to gasp.

"Not yet Todd. I haven't saved you yet," Kurt replies.

Todd presses his forehead against his knees. He doesn't know how to reply to Kurt's words. Or what they mean.

Kurt watches Todd for a moment. There is still much he wants to ask. But he decides to ask only one more question.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Kurt asks quietly.

Todd shakes his head.

"Then let's go get something to eat," Kurt replies as he reaches his hand out.

Todd watches the hand from the corner of his eye stretch out to him. Todd wonders if the fuzzy elf knows that he will do whatever blue asks of him. It's a promise he had made to himself years ago. He watches the blue fingers twitch. Todd unwinds his arms from around his knees and stands up. Without looking up at Kurt, he places his hand in Kurt's. He closes his eyes just before they disappear in a puff of brimstone.

Over the next few days, Kurt finds himself breaking his old daily routine to fit more time with Todd. He doesn't quite understand it. But from the moment he wakes up, Todd is on his mind. Did Todd go without sleep again? Or did he fall asleep on the floor again? Why won't he use the bed? Questions he didn't dare ask. But these wouldn't be the only ones that came to his mind as the morning went. Did he eat? Did he even leave his room? Is anyone else talking to him? When he can no longer bare the weight of the questions, he goes to Todd.

Sometimes it's before breakfast. Sometimes before lunch. But he always finds himself standing outside that bedroom door at some point of the day. And not ever empty handed. Oranges, granola bars, muffins, or other various treats and snacks. Today it's an apple. Again questions come to mind. How long does it take to get that thin? How many nights did Todd try to sleep with hunger pains? When will his bones stop being so easily seen through his skin?

Kurt shakes his head with a sigh and knocks on Todd's door. Even though Todd never answers, he does this one small act of curtisy. Then he opens the door and steps inside. Not surprisingly, he finds Todd in his usual spot. Sitting with his back against the dresser, his arms loosely hugging his knees. Though it doesn't seem like Todd notices him, Kurt knows that he does.

"Here, catch," Kurt calls out and tosses the apple to Todd.

For a moment, Kurt visions the younger Todd, the one he knew so well, turning and catching the apple with his tongue then swallowing the thing whole. But in reality, this older Todd simply raises a hand and catches it perfectly. He brings it close to his chest, probably examining it. Kurt knows he's waiting. And he knows what he is waiting for.

"Go ahead and eat it. You know you don't have to wait until I tell you to do so," Kurt tells him, knowing that Todd will wait until he receives such permission.

Kurt walks pass, experiencing a moment of relief when he hears the crunch of Todd's first bite. He goes for the unused bed and sits down. He let's himself fall back on the bed and waits until he's sure the apple has been consumed. While he waits, he thinks about the idea that came to him before he fell asleep. It was more of an action to take rather than an idea. One that he hopes will do Todd some good.

When he no longer hears chewing, he teleports from the bed to Todd's side. He takes a moment to examine Todd from this close angle. Today he's wearing black jeans and a dark blue sweater with an X logo on the shoulder. The clothes were still too loose on him. When he talked to the Professor about this, the Professor assured him that once he reaches a healthy weight, and a healthier state of mind, Todd would be taken to get clothes that fits more to his tastes than the spare clothes kept for emergencies.

Kurt looks at the long arms hidden beneath the blue cloth. Even though it's not really cold today, Todd insists on wearing them, taking them from the dresser over the T-shirts Kurt knows are in those drawers. And Kurt knows why. He watches as Todd rubs his knees nervously, the sweater sleeve sliding back just slightly, allowing the bruised skin to peek out from under the dark blue fabric. Kurt quickly shifts his eyes away, knowing that if Todd realizes what Kurt had seen, he would remain nervous as well as silent. How many more days before those bruises on his wrists heal? Another question Kurt can't ask.

So Kurt raises his gaze to Todd's face. As usual, Todd's hair is covering it. But because the hair is wet, thanks to Logan insisting on showers every other day for the Toad like mutant, it creates narrow slits where Kurt is able to see Todd's face. Pale yellow eyes with dark bags underneath glance over, meeting Kurt's glowing eyes for a few seconds before looking away. Then they would return to Kurt's again.

"Were you able to sleep last night?" Kurt asks.

"A little," Todd replies quietly.

"How did your session with the Professor go?"

Todd shrugs. He honestly doesn't know what to make of these morning or afternoon meetings with the Professor. He doesn't even understand why the Professor is even trying to talk to him. Nothing the Professor asked seemed important. Isn't the idea of keeping an enemy under the same roof is to get information out of them? He expected endless questions about Magneto, his plan, the mutants with him, anything and everything involving the guy. But instead, the Professor asks questions about Todd himself. How he was feeling, if there is anything he wants to talk about, if he is getting along with anyone. This confuses Todd because even though he provided the Professor with information involving Magneto's next plan, he was sure that he had more information that could be useful concerning their old foe. So why isn't he asking those questions?

"Are you alright Todd?" Kurt asks, a look of concern filling his features.

Snapped out of his thoughts, Todd nods. Todd notices Kurt closing his eyes and sighing. Kurt has done this a few times when he doesn't speak. This always makes him bad. In the past five years, all he wanted to do was to be able to hang out and talk to the elf one more time. Like they did before they went to the warehouse. He thinks about what Kurt had said a few days ago. Kurt was right, he should have told him. Then maybe the elf could have convinced him not to go despite his loyalties to the Brotherhood.

Then again, Todd knows this isn't true. More than likely they would have fought and then the anger built up from fighting would have pushed Todd to go anyway. Back then, he just say Kurt as a sort of friend. Not too close or anything, but someone he could hang out with now and then. It wasn't until months later that Todd realized what his feelings actually were. It was why, when Lance had told them that they should spend the day doing whatever they wanted before joining Magneto, that Todd had sought out the furry blue X-man.

Todd had figured it out one night, a night that gave him what he would need to survive those future years under the authority of those two maniacs. It was after a long day of what they called boot camp training. What it actually was, was a day of beating Toad for any small thing they found offensive or that simply rubbed them the wrong way. Which was about everything he did. The only time he was left alone was when he sat or laid in some corner of a room. He remembers wishing he had caught onto that a bit sooner. He was in so much pain, he thought he would die. Didn't help he coughed up blood. That freaked him out and woke Lock Down who smacked it out of him. So his mind scrambled for something to distract from the pain.

And that something ended up turning out to be the Nightcreeper. As he laid on that cold floor, his mind replays their various encounters over the years. The times he actually thought he hated the raggy plush toy to when they realized they weren't all that different. Things slowly changed between them, even more so after they defeated Apocalypse. It took him a few minutes to realize that he sorely missed the blue mutant. It took him even longer to figure out why he missed him. That night he was able to fall asleep and Kurt was there in his dreams. The following morning, as he pulled himself painfully up from the floor, he vowed that he would survive long enough to see the elf one more time.

As he remembers this, he considers sharing this with Kurt. He wants to. But just as he feels that he might be able to, voices start shouting in his head.

"Keep your trap shut until you are given permission to speak!"

"Who do you think will listen to ye mate? Who would want to?"

"Say one more thing and I will break your jaw, boy!"

Todd moans and presses his hands against his ears. He shakes his head in an effort to stop the shouting.

"Todd? Todd, look at me!" Kurt tells Todd as he shifts himself in order to be able to grab Todd's hands.

At first Todd resists but Kurt gets a good firm grip on them and is able to pull them down. Using his tail, he gently lift's Todd's chin.

"Todd, look at me," Kurt repeats calmly.

Todd is shaking but he slowly looks up to meet Kurt's own yellow eyes.

"Good. Take a deep breath," Kurt instructs, then takes one himself.

Todd does so but his eyes don't look away from Kurt's.

"Very good. Are you okay now? Or do you think you need to see Hank?" Kurt asks.

"I'm...okay," Todd whispers.

Kurt nods and slowly he releases Todd's hands and returns to his former position. Todd watches him do this before hearing another scolding voice in his head.

"What do you think you are looking at you disgusting little creep?!"

Todd quickly looks away from Kurt, his body shudders in response.

"Todd, last night I was thinking. Would you like to go outside for a bit? We won't leave the grounds or anything. I just think maybe you would like the fresh air?" Kurt asks.

Todd's eyes widen at the suggestion. Outside? He hasn't been outside since he was brought here. And there were practically years between that and the time before that where he was allowed outside. And now Kurt was suggesting it. Would it really be okay? Todd glances over at Kurt, hoping that the elf can somehow read the question from his mind.

Kurt notices the nervous glances. Already he misses those few moments where Todd had looked him in the eye without any trace of fear but with trust. At least the moment did happen, he tells himself.

"You know you can trust me Todd. So trust me when I say it's okay to go outside for a walk. No one will bother us," Kurt promises.

Todd let's Kurt's words sink in for a moment. He does trust the Nightcreeper. More than the fuzzy mutant realizes. Todd nods his head.

"Alright then, let's go," Kurt says as he stands up.

When Todd also stands up, Kurt gently wraps his hand around Todd's wrist and precedes to lead him to the front doors of the institute.


	5. Chapter 5

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 5

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, Todd is standing by the fountain, watching Kurt who sits down on the edge. Slowly he puts one foot into the cool water before jerking it back out.

"Cold!" Kurt cries out.

His tail stiffens, becoming almost straight as an arrow when he puts both of his feet into the water before turning to smile towards Todd.

"Take a seat Todd. Give it a try," Kurt encourages.

Todd looks at the water doubtfully but follows Kurt's example and sits down. He tenses just before he places his own bare webbed feet into the water. He shivers at the coldness but he quickly adjusts. Soon it feels really good to his sore feet.

"See? Not too bad is it?" Kurt asks with a grin.

"It's really nice," Todd replies, lowering his face again to hide it under his hair. But Kurt spots the smile.

"Someone should push him in," a voice behind them suggests.

Kurt turns around to glare at the source of the comment. Standing behind them is Kitty, Bobby, Sam, Ray, and Rahne.

"I feel sorry for Kurt. Having to baby sit that must suck," Sam comments.

"Don't you have a training session or something?" Kurt asks.

"Oh cool it Kurt. Don't get mad at us because you are stuck with him. You are the one that brought him here," Kitty replies.

"I am not stuck with him. I choose to be with him. So leave us alone!" Kurt shouts at her.

As they are talking, Rahne shifts into her dog form and walks up to Todd. She begins to sniff him when Kurt notices.

"Rahne, leave him be!" Kurt scolds.

She shifts back into her original form as the rest of the group moves closer to the fountain.

"Sorry. Everyone keeps saying he smells really bad. Yet all I smelled was a slight earth scent. Not bad really," she explains as she looks back at the others in confusion.

"That's because Logan is making him shower," Kitty replies. "If it wasn't for that, you wouldn't have to get so close to smell him."

"Kitty..." Kurt hisses.

"You of all people know that's true Kurt. I mean how many times did you two fight? Which still confuses me, because I really thought you two hated each other but you still brought him here?" Kitty questions.

"Yeah, what is up with that?" Bobby asks.

The others mutter similar thoughts.

"I never hated him," Kurt states, drawing everyone's attention.

"Okay so you didn't hate him. You just didn't like him," Kitty corrects with a roll of her eyes.

"At first that was true," Kurt says as he stands up and steps out of the fountain. "I didn't like him. He was a slime ball both physically and personally. Or at least that was what I thought. But I realized I was doing the same thing other people did to me. Including you Kitty. You know how my appearance took some time getting use to. It's the same with him," Kurt argues.

"So now you are all buddy buddy with the guy? Isn't he a member of the Brotherhood?" Sam asks.

"N-not anymore," Todd answers before Kurt can reply.

Sometime during the conversation, he has turned towards the others though he doesn't look up towards them.

"Oh, so you are no longer a member of the Brotherhood, huh Toad? Well good for you. But you still serve Magneto don't you?" She asks, stepping forward with each question.

Todd shakes his head.

"Don't lie Toad. If you didn't serve Magneto, then why were you there when we were fighting him? Or did I imagine that? Maybe I imagined every time we had to fight the Magneto or the Brotherhood and you were right there. Often fighting with Kurt. Is that my imagination Toad?" Kitty demands.

Todd shakes his head again, slowly. He's starting to tremble under everyone's gaze.

"So then why should we believe that you are no longer with them? Why should we believe anything has changed with you?" Kitty asks.

"Back off him Kitty!" Kurt shouts as he pushes himself between them.

As Kurt says this, his tail accidentally brushes against Todd's leg. Startled, Todd jerks away from the tail and ends up falling back into the fountain. The others, except for Kurt, start to laugh.

"Todd!" Kurt cries out as he steps back into the water.

Todd doesn't move to get up. Instead, he pulls up his knees and hugs them tightly. This pulls the wet sleeves back down his arms, exposing them.

"Hey, are you okay?" Rahne asks, being the first to see the fading bruises on his wrists.

The others look for the source to see what Rahne is referring to.

"Did he do that when he fell?" Sam asks.

"Those are fading man. Means they're healing. No way he just got those," Ray comments.

They watch as Kurt kneels down next to Todd, not caring that he is getting his pants soaked.

"Todd, are you okay? Maybe we should go back inside for now," Kurt suggests. He can't hide the disappoint in his voice. When he thought of this, this is not how he planned things.

He hears some additional splashing and he looks over finding both Kitty and Rahne stepping into the fountain. Rahne goes to Todd's side while Kitty stands in front of him. She stands there for a moment, looking down at the former enemy.

"I won't apologize for what I said. I didn't say anything that wasn't true," Kitty tells Todd, ignoring the heated glare from Kurt. "But...I will give you a chance. To prove me wrong. Don't screw it up."

Kitty turns and walks out of the fountain. Bobby follows her as she heads back in the direction they had come from.

Rahne reaches out and brushes Todd's wet hair out of his face. She freezes when she see's the burn scar but quickly recovers herself.

"You look okay. Come on, let's get you out of the water," Rahne tells him as she stands up.

"It's alright Todd. You can trust them too," Kurt whispers into Todd's ear.

Slowly with Kurt and Rahne's help, Todd gets up and out of the fountain.

"We're sorry," Sam mutters.

"Yeah, we kinda...listened to everyone else instead of trying to get to know you," Ray adds.

Kurt nods to the group approvingly. When Rahne steps back, the two vanish with a Bamf.

"What do you think happened to the guy? Was he like that before?" Sam asks.

"I don't think so. No one has mentioned anything like that. Just that he was a smelly slime ball," Ray replies.

"We should have known that things have changed. We did after all," Rahne comments.

The two males nod in agreement.

Meanwhile, Kurt is walking back into Todd's room with a small towel in hand. Todd is standing by the small window, still in wet clothes.

"Here," Kurt says as he holds out the small towel.

Todd accepts it and places it on the bed. He starts to strip out of the wet clothes as Kurt digs out dry clothes for him. When Kurt turns back around, he finds himself again looking at Todd's scarred back. But unlike earlier, as Kurt takes in more of the exposed body, he finds more traces of scars. There were more burn scars on both shoulders and on the back of his left arm. He isn't surprised to see these similar scars on the back of his legs when Todd steps out of the wet pants.

What catches Kurt's breath is the hand print bruises. They were hidden under the clothing but now stand out on Todd's pale skin. One is on his left shoulder, near his neck, another on his right hip. A heart breaking moan escapes him when Todd pulls down the wet boxer shorts. There seemed to be layers of the same shape bruises on Todd's rear. Kurt didn't need to guess how those bruises were made.

Todd tenses when he hears Kurt moan behind him. He closes his eyes tight and waits. That sound was the same sound that made the beatings more preferable to what would come. He hadn't given any thought about undressing in front Kurt. He was use to undressing in front of others now. But hearing that moan terrifies him. 'Surely Kurt won't' he starts to think when he hears a cough.

Looking back over his shoulder, he finds Kurt's out stretched arm holding dry clothes. Glancing up the blue furred arm, Todd realizes that Kurt is facing away from him. The hand holding the clothes bobs up and down when Todd doesn't take them right away. Noticing this, Todd quickly accepts the clothes.

As Todd gets dressed, Kurt keeps his back to him. His eyes sting with unshed tears but Kurt refuses to let them fall. At least, not in front of Todd. When he thinks Todd is finished, he glances back to make sure before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Come sit over here," Kurt tells him, gesturing to the floor between his odd shaped feet.

Todd does so without second thought. He wants to look up at the fuzzy demon, ask him if what he saw, for Todd knows that the X-man saw his exposed body, makes him more disgusting than he ever was. But both action and question are beyond him. Which only leaves him with doing whatever Kurt wants. He feels the towel dropped on his head before three fingered hands start to rub the cloth over his hair which was only semi wet. Still, Todd finds himself enjoying the feeling of Kurt's hands in his hair.

"Todd..."

Hearing his name in a volume that is barely a whisper startles him. He realizes that the hands have stopped moving. Sensing something is wrong, Todd forces himself to look up at Kurt, ignoring the threatening voices promising punishment for such an act. His eyes widen when he sees the tears spilling from the similar yellow orbs surrounded in blue fur.

"I'm so sorry. I...I can't stop them. I'm trying but..." Kurt whispers as he looks down at his former rival. The sight of the hand bruises would just not leave his mind. He mentally kicks himself for not being able to keep it together.

"Nightcreeper...it's okay," Todd mutters. He's at a loss for words. This wasn't the reaction he had pictured just a few seconds ago. To add to his state of shock, Kurt slides down from the edge of the bed and wraps not only his arms but his tail as well around Todd's body. He feels the blue furry mutant press his face against his right shoulder. From the slight trembles, Todd could tell that the fellow mutant was crying.

"I'm okay. I'm fine," Todd lies. He repeats this over and over, trying to convince both of them that it's true.


	6. Chapter 6

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 6

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That evening, Kurt finds himself standing before the Professor's office. His stomach feels like it's turned to lead and his hands can't seem to remain still. His tail is twitching behind him. Taking a deep breath, he knocks on the door.

"Come in Kurt."

Kurt does so and finds the Professor by the large picture window with a book on his lap.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you Professor," Kurt apologizes.

"It's alright Kurt. You know I have an open door policy. So what is on your mind?" Professor Xavier asks as he turns to face the blue furred mutant.

"It's...it's concerning Todd," Kurt answers, his voice dropping.

"I see. You have been spending a lot of time with him since he's been here," The Professor comments.

"Ja," Kurt agrees.

"You saw something that bothered you, didn't you?" Professor Xavier asks.

"Did you know Professor? About the...those bruises?" Kurt asks in return.

"No. What kind of bruises?"

"Hand prints," Kurt answers in a near whisper.

"I see. Hank had suspicions of this but when Mr.Tolansky refused to undress completely or talk, we weren't sure," the Professor sighs as he takes in this bit of information. He doesn't need to ask more about these bruises for Kurt's mind is filled the mental image to the older man. An image that leaves no room for doubt. "Kurt, you know you are not responsible for what happened to him, don't you?"

Kurt takes in a shaky breath before replying. "I should have kept searching for him. I should have never given up."

"Kurt, you did everything you could to find him. You searched for him for over a year. That in itself is commendable. If it wasn't for you, we would have not even been aware that they were missing," the Professor points out.

"It wasn't enough though. It wasn't enough! I gave up on him! I...I made myself believe he chose to disappear. That he lied to me. But I was wrong. And he paid for that," Kurt tells Professor Xavier. Tears start to make their way down his blue furred cheeks.

"Kurt, he was gone for five years," The Professor tries to point out.

"That doesn't matter Professor. In those five years he was...he was..." Kurt tries to finish but instead breaks down.

"Kurt..."

"Those bruises are...not very...old. That...that means they...Mein Gott...they were made just before we fought them!" Kurt cries out.

The Professor watches as Kurt sinks down to his knees and curls himself up. He knows why this is hurting the demon looking mutant so much. He decides that now is the time that Kurt himself realizes this as well.

"Kurt, if you could change what happened to Mr.Tolansky, Todd, would you?"

"Yes, yes I would!" Kurt answers.

"Would you have protected him?" The Professor continues to question as he moves closer to the fellow mutant.

"Of course."

"Even if that might result in your death?"

"Yes," Kurt answers firmly.

"And if it was possible, you would have traded places with him? Knowing what he went through? Knowing you would have to go through that?"

"Yes," Kurt again answers firmly without hesitation.

"So tell me Kurt, why would you be willing to go to such measures if it was possible?" The Professor asks, coding his hands beneath his chin.

"He...he is my friend," Kurt replies.

"Is that all? To be willing to go to those lengths, to me it sounds like he means more than that," Professor Xavier comments, providing a verbal nudge.

Kurt is silent for a few minutes. He knows it's true. To him, Todd means more than just a friend. In all this time, whenever Kurt allowed his mind to wander or at night before he fell asleep, there would be Todd. He did try to forget, he tried not to think of him. It hurt every time he did. But still, he never truly let go of the toad like mutant. So he simply hid his feelings under a lie. One that he realizes he doesn't need anymore.

"He does mean more Professor. I..." Kurt tries to say the words but then remembers who he's speaking to.

"You love him. I understand Kurt. And you should know by now that I will not judge you. Certainly not in these matters," the Professor tells his fellow mutant with an understanding smile.

Kurt looks warily over at the older wheel chair bound man. But when he see's the sincerity in the man's eyes, he smiles as well.

"Ja, I do love him. I was afraid to admit it though. I still am. What happens when the others find out? Or my parents? Do I even dare tell him? Will it...end badly or just end?" Kurt shares his thoughts with the Professor.

"Kurt, I think it would be safe to say that you had to hide most of your life. Is that statement accurate?" The Professor asks.

"Ja," Kurt answers with a sigh.

"Even now, you have to hide your true self from the rest of the world," the Professor continues, gesturing to the image inducer on Kurt's wrist. "So, with that said, should this be something else you should hide? Not only from Todd but the others as well? Or could this be one aspect of your life that you don't have hide?"

Kurt again is quiet. He thinks about the things the Professor had just told him. Of course the Professor is correct. There is a lot that Kurt hides about himself. Specially if he feels that it will not be seen as normal. When he first came to the institute, he struggled to obtain a form of normalcy in his life. As time passed, he thought he obtained it, even if it was produced by a lie. And here he was, facing something that could shatter even that tiny fragment.

But then he thinks about what came with that normalcy. Sure he could relax and sleep without nightmares. He even has friends. But something had been missing. Something he thought maybe Amanda could fill in for him at one point. Or something he could simply continue living without.

He remembers how he felt when he saw Todd on the field. Yes, there was anger. But there was also relief. Todd was alive. Todd was standing before him, fighting against him almost like old times. When he told Todd that he wasn't going to take him to the institute and Todd ran to throw himself at the berserker of the X-men, all that ran through Kurt's mind was the words 'not again'. For in that moment, he decided he wasn't going to lose Todd again.

It's remembering this that gives Kurt the courage he knows he'll need to face the outcome from the next few words that leave his lips.

"No, I won't hide this," Kurt states with determination. Then a look of concern comes over his blue features. "But Professor, I have to ask. Do you think I should wait to tell Todd? When you consider what he's been through...his mental state... What if I make him worse?"

"I don't believe that will be the case. Specially when you consider that you are the only one he has really been responsive to," Professor Xavier shares his thoughts.

"But the sessions with you..." Kurt begins to point out.

"He only answers the simplest of questions. And only with short answers. Nothing about himself. But I believe that this is not the same with you?" The Professor asks with a knowing smile.

"At first yes. He's slowly...well...he's starting to say things on his own. Not much really," Kurt admits with a frown.

"Yes, it may not seem like much but it is something Kurt. In these past five years he was made to do nothing more than follow orders. His only form of communication that he was allowed appears to be answering questions with short answers. I believe what you and Hank have seen the repercussions were. And yet, with you, he's been going against what has been ingrained into him after all this time. That, I believe speaks volumes concerning how he views his relationship with you," the Professor finishes.

Several minutes past in silence before Kurt stands up. He nods to himself as if agreeing with his thoughts. He looks over to the Professor.

"Professor, can I borrow a few things for tomorrow night? There's something I want to try," Kurt asks.

"Yes, of course. I think your idea is a very good one. I wish you luck in case I don't see you before then," The Professor wishes.

Kurt grins for the first time before leaving the office. A moment later, Logan comes in.

"Hey Charles. Saw the Elf just now. Looks like the cat that swallowed the canary," Logan comments.

"Does he? Well, I guess that's what happens when one no longer feels afraid about the results of their feelings," Xavier replies with a smile.

"Feelings huh? Well that's why I'm stopping by. I have some concerns about the Toad. Nothing serious," Logan shares.

"Oh? What kind of concerns?" Xavier asks.

"Well, for starters, the kid is still being...what's the word? Submissive. Does whatever he's told. The others are starting to notice and I think they're planning to try and take advantage of that. Some kind of prank or something. It might just be talk but just in case..." Logan explains.

"I understand. Though they normally wouldn't mean any harm, they do tend to cater to their emotions. Right now there isn't much I can do besides trying to have another talk with them all but that might make things worse," Xavier replies with a shake of his head.

"My thoughts exactly. Still, we should be prepared. Another concern is what I've been noticing between toad boy and the elf. I'm not sure of course but I think the Toad likes Kurt more than just friends if you get my drift," Logan continues.

"Really?" Xavier comments, raising his eyebrows in mock surprise.

"Yeah. I don't even know where to begin with that one. Maybe tell Kurt to be careful? Or have a talk with Toad?" Logan suggests.

"I think Kurt will handle that one without needing any assistance from us," Xavier shares.

"If you think so Charles. Just giving you a heads up," Logan replies with a shrug before walking back towards the door.

"Logan. If something does develop between them, they will need our support. Could you do that?" Xavier asks.

"If something develops?" Logan asks before he catches on to what the Professor is referring to. "Oh, I see. Hmm. I don't really know. I don't have any qualms with who people choose to love or what they do in their bedroom as long as it's done in their bedroom and not in my face. But this is different. He is...or was the enemy. We can't forget that. And he hasn't been here that long. Who knows if he'll even stick around. Something else to be careful about," Logan shares his thoughts.

"And you are right Logan. With this we will have to wait and see. But we shouldn't make any judgements just yet. We'll let things play out first," Xavier states decidedly.

"Waiting isn't exactly my thing but I trust ya. Hopefully nothing happens," Logan mutters.


	7. Chapter 7

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 7

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, there was a meeting in which most of the X-men were gathered. There had been a sighting of Juggernaut and that always means trouble. Kurt listened as best as he could to the details of their mission. But he knew he was somewhat distracted. He wasn't the only one to notice this.

"Kurt, you with us?" Scott asks.

"Ja," Kurt lies. He shakes his head and does his best to push Todd from his mind. He promises himself there will be time later to dedicate his focus to the amphibian mutant.

Moments later, both teams of the X-men and Charles Xavier go to face the unstoppable Juggernaut and try to protect humans that are in his way. Only the youngest and newest of mutants are still at the institute besides Toad.

Todd is in his room, sitting against the dresser. His eyes are close and he could just feel the edges of sleep come over him. But when he hears his door open, he is suddenly awake. Out of the corner of his dull yellow eyes, he watches two figures enter his room.

"Hey there!" A female voice greets.

Todd doesn't return the greeting, instead he waits.

"Name's Jason, this is Amara," a young male tells him. "Logan left instructions for us to do exercises while they were gone. And since you are here, we thought you could help us."

Todd again doesn't give any response. Something doesn't seem right to him about this but he doesn't dare challenge it.

"So get up and follow us," the young woman named Amara tells him.

Todd shivers at the order but slowly stands up. He keeps his head low as he follows them out of his room, noticing the group that had been waiting outside his door. His mind is sending up eyed flags, but helplessly he continues to follow them as they lead him outside the mansion. He swallows nervously when he see's the the four wheelers waiting for them.

"You are riding with me," Jason tells him.

Todd nods and follows the kid to one of the four wheelers. Once on, the kid starts waves to the others.

"Don't hold me to tightly," Jason warns him.

Todd isn't given the time to nod before the four wheeler jerks forward. He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes as they ride off. He doesn't open them again until he notices they are slowing down. He takes careful glances around them and notices they are in a deep wooden lot. He wonders how long they have been riding since his legs have gone numb.

They continue moving deeper into the woods slowly until finally stopping at a partial clearing. Todd hears the other four wheelers also slow down behind them.

"Get off," Jason tells him.

Todd quickly does so and waits.

"Take a seat on that fallen tree there," Jason instructs him.

Todd looks behind him and see's the tree Jason is referring to. Todd walks over to it, trying to step carefully with his bare feet and sits down.

"We're going to run a lost and rescue exercise. You are the lost hiker. All you have to do is wait there until we find you. It might take us a bit, so don't move," Jason explains with a grin. 

Todd nods and wraps his arms around himself. He listens to the four wheelers start up again and ride off, leaving him behind. He never hears their laughter as they ride off.

After a few minutes of silence, Todd lifts his head. Carefully he brushes the hair out of his face and looks around the area properly. He finds himself smiling at what he is seeing. It reminds him of one of the paintings outside the Professor's office. The tall trees have a layer of pale green moss on them, a stark contrast to the deep green of the forest floor. Looking up, he notices the tiny spots of sunlight that peek through the branches, sparkling like false stars. His muscles grow loose and he unwraps his arms.

Waiting here won't be so bad he considers. Only one thing could make this better. Well, one person. It was easy to picture the blue devil like mutant sitting in the trees, tail swaying against the breeze.

"Having a daydream mate?" A familiar voice asks.

Todd jumps at the phantom voice and with wide eyes, he searches for the source.

"Who gave you permission to look around Toady?" A second voice asks, sending shivers down his spine.

He shifts slightly, unbalancing himself which causes him to fall backwards off the log.

"Did we tell you you could move mate? Maybe we need to have a little chat about following orders again," the voice threatens followed by a chuckle.

"No!" Todd cries out as he scurries to get up and back on the fallen tree, ignoring the scratches on his back and hands. When he is sitting down again on the tree, he brings his knees up and hugs them tightly.

"So what were you dreaming about Toady?" The second voice asks with mild curiosity.

"Nothing," Todd whispers. "Nothing. Nothing. Nothing." He repeats the word over and over for several minutes, hoping this will quiet the voices in his head. Tears fall unnoticed as time passes.

It isn't until almost evening when the teams come back. They leave the jet in silence, exhausted from the day's events. They did run into Juggernaut and after a long battle, they were able to stop him. But the town they found him in was a wreck. They aided in the emergency rescue of people trapped under rubble and provided whatever further aid they could provide. Finally, there was nothing further they could do so they went home.

Kurt follows the others, listening faintly to the complaints and plans of the others. Most planned to shower then call it an early night. Others simply plan to fall into their beds and stay there until Logan wakes them. But Kurt had other plans. Yes he was tired and very sore but he was also determined. He could try to wait and do his plans tomorrow night. But he knows that if he does that, then he most likely will never do it. No, he tells himself. It has to be tonight while his body is still hyped from the adrenaline of the battle. Before his nerves get the best of him.

He quickly goes to his room and changes out of his uniform. He looks over at his desk, seeing the tv and DVD player that has been set up. Some blankets and pillows were on the floor before it. A empty bowl was nearby, waiting to be filled with popcorn. Kurt smiles to himself. Even though it isn't much, he is happy with the idea. The only hard part was finding the movie which was buried in his closet. Putting his dirty uniform in the hamper, he glances at himself in the mirror. He takes a deep breath before heading to his door.

He stops when there is a knock on it. Curiously, he opens it, revealing Logan on the other side.

"Logan?"

"Hey elf. Is Toad with you?" Logan asks, looking behind him towards the hallway.

"No. He should be in his room," Kurt replies, feeling his stomach tighten.

Kurt watches as Logan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I was afraid you would say that. He's not in his room," Logan informs him. "And he's not with the Professor."

"I'll check the rooms up here, you check the grounds," Kurt tells the older mutant before disappearing in a purplish mist.

"Not what I needed tonight," Logan growls.

Instead of going to search the grounds, he makes his way to the rec room. He looks around at the younger mutants who take a moment to realize he's in the room. He waits until they all are watching him.

"Whose going to tell me where the Toad is? Remember, I'll know if I'm being lied to," Logan warns.

Meanwhile, Todd is still sitting on the fallen tree, shivering. It has grown dark, the only light being provided is that from the fireflies surrounding them. He watches these tiny lights flicker around him for a moment before whipping his tongue out and catching one. Just as quick, he chews and swallows it. He's about to do it again when the voices return.

"That is really gross mate. You do know that don't you?"

"Sickening is what it is! Do that one more time and I'll rip that tongue out myself!"

"I'm sorry," Todd moans out.

"Say it!" Both voices order at the same time.

"I...I'm disgusting. I make...make people sick," Todd recites painfully. He hates when they make him speak the truth.

The voices seem satisfied for they remain silent. Todd closes his eyes, not wanting to watch the tempting fireflies another moment longer. His stomach growls but he ignores it. But when he hears a twig snap, he opens them.

Moving along the ground is a pair of light beams. They travel up the fallen tree and soon they are directed into his face. He raises a hand to shield his eyes and tries to see the source. He can barely make out two large men as they approach. He tenses when he realizes that not only do they have flashlights trained on him but hunting rifles as well.

"Who are you?!" One of the hunters shouts.

"T-Todd Tolansky," he answers, his voice struggling to remain steady.

"What are you doing out here? Don't you know you're trespassing?" The second hunter asks, moving closer to Todd.

"I...I'm waiting," Todd answers weakly, turning his head away from the bright light.

"You're a Mutie!" The second hunter cries out when he gets a better view of Todd's raised webbed hand.

"A mutant? You sure Billy?" The first hunter asks.

"Come take a look at his hand! I'm telling you, this guy's a mutant!" Billy shouts to the other hunter.

Todd hears the other hunter walk over and feels their eyes examining him. He feels his heart begin to race, knowing he is in trouble.

"You right. That's a mutant. What should we do with him?" The hunter asks his buddy.

"We start with this," Billy answers.

Todd tenses but because he isn't watching them, he doesn't realize Billy has stepped behind him. He feels a moment of pain before everything goes black when Billy hits Todd in the back of his head with the butt of the hunting rifle.


	8. Chapter 8

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 8

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Logan was never one for philosophy. He never spent time wondering what his place was in the universe or what some God is trying to tell him. But now and then, he believes in Karma. And that she can be a real bitch. Today she must be on her time of the month he thinks. First the long fight with Juggernaut, which can ruin anyone's day. Then finding the Toad missing. He found himself regretting telling the elf. Because now he is in the rec room and as the young mutants had just fessed up to their little prank, the elf had teleported into the room, hearing the confession. Now the elf was living up to his fearful appearance, shouting at the group.

Logan remains quiet, letting the elf get it out of his system. He tries hard not to smirk at the terrified expressions on the new students faces. He plans to make these kids wish that the verbal tongue lashing from Kurt was the only punishment they received. With a sigh, he decides that they had enough. Besides, he could smell the change in the weather from the breeze blowing in from the open window. Didn't need to add getting caught in a downpour to the list.

"That's enough bub. I think the kids get the point," Logan tells the blue mutant, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. Logan could tell that Kurt disagreed by the glare he received. He also notices the added appendage whipping around, coming very close to hitting Logan. 'Focus Logan. Elf's upset' he tells himself.

"Kurt, we need to leave now if we are going to bring Toad back. Unless you want to wait until morning?" Logan asks, knowing the fellow mutant's answer.

"No. We can't make him wait any longer," Kurt replies, taking a deep breath to try to calm himself.

"You," Logan addresses the mutant Jason, "are going to show us exactly where you left him. We're leaving. Now."

Meanwhile, Todd moans quietly as he comes to. His eyes are closed tightly due to the piercing pain emanating from the back of his head. He tries to reach his hands up to his head but for some reason they only move a little. Confused, he tries to open his eyes. When these refuse to listen to him, he begins to panic. He struggles to move, trying to shift his legs or twist his hands. Something growls and Todd goes still.

"Quiet Flagg!" The hunter named Billy shouts.

Hearing the voice, Todd remembers what happened earlier. Nervously, he tries to speak.

"Pl-please, let me g-go," Todd pleas.

"You be quiet too, freak, unless you want us to gag you too. We have some buddies who would just love to meet you. Umhmm. First thing in the morning, you gonna meet them," Billy promises, "Until then, good night."

Todd hears a creaking sound followed by fading footsteps. There is another growl, not as loud as the first one. Todd knows it's a warning and also knows he won't be challenging the source of the growl. Instead he uses his shoulder to feel for a wall which is to his left. Shifting slowly, he leans against it. He tests the binds around his wrists and his ankles. He feels them bite into his skin with the slightest movement. His fingers are tingling from lack of circulation. As the situation sinks in, he sighs.

"Look what Toady got himself into this time," Lockdown's voice comments, filled with disgust.

"Told ya he can't make it without us," Pyro's voice adds with a sigh.

"Stop. Just go away," Todd whispers.

"Now don't be like that mate. You know you want us to come and rescue you," Pyro whispers with a chuckle.

"No, no I don't," Todd argues, tensing when he hears the growl again.

"He's right Pyro, he doesn't want us to rescue him. He's hoping that a certain blue furred X-man will save the day," Lockdown shares inside Todd's head.

Todd suddenly feels himself go numb. How, how can they know that?

"You being slow again Toady. Of course we know about your little fantasies concerning the blue furred freak. We know everything about you," Lockdown tells him.

"He's not a freak!" Todd shouts at the voices in his head.

"Maybe not as much as you are mate. But a freak is a freak," Pyro replies.

"Besides, who gave you permission to argue with us? Who was it Toady?" Lockdown challenges.

Todd sits quietly for a moment, not replying to the voices in his head. Instead he tries to picture his former rival in his mind. In the darkness of his thoughts, he could just see the pair of glowing yellow eyes. Slowly, the tall lean figure steps out of the darkness. The indigo blue fur nearly blends him in with the shadows behind him. The cat like legs continue to step forward, a tail swishes behind them.

"Don't let them continue to break you down," the blue elf whispers.

"I can't fight them. I never could," he tells the mental image of Kurt.

"Yes, you can Todd. They're not real. They are just here," Kurt tells him, pointing to his head.

"But so are you," Todd points out.

"Am I really just in your mind? Or am I somewhere else?" Kurt asks.

"Somewhere else?" Todd asks the phantom image of the X-man.

The Kurt in his mind doesn't say anything further but with his three fingered hand he points to his chest, where flesh and bone covers a beating heart. Todd nods slowly in understanding. Then his breath catches when two more forms step out of the shadows.

"Ain't this just touching?" The shadow version of Lockdown comments.

"Like a Hallmark movie, it is," Pyro agrees.

"Looks like Toady here needs a dose of reality," Lockdown says with a smile before raising his hand.

Todd watches in horror as chains come out of the darkness, wrapping not around himself but Kurt. He hears Kurt give out a startled cry.

"Just call us the doctors," Pyro says before laughing as he summons fire from his hands, provided by the tank on his back.

The fire circles around the restrained Kurt before suddenly returning to the fire controlling mutant, extending from his hands in a resemblance of flaming whips.

This snaps Todd out of his fear. His tongue lashes out, through the shadowed chains, breaking them upon contact. But it doesn't stop there. It continues to stretch until it pierces through the chest of the red haired mutant. Pyro looks down, seeing the hole in his chest and the cracks spidering out from the opening along his body.

"Never thought you had it in you," the mental image of Pyro mutters in surprise before suddenly shattering like glass.

"Oh Toady, you shouldn't have done that," Lockdown growls before rushing at Todd.

"I'm not going to listen to you anymore. So just shut up!" Todd yells at the approaching mutant who shatters like the other.

Todd watches as the chains fall off of Kurt. Kurt turns and offers him a fanged smile.

"Are they really gone?" Todd asks.

"No, not permanently. But they are for now," the mental image of Kurt tells him.

"I...I am waiting for you, you know?" Todd tells the fake Kurt.

"You should tell me that when you see me. You should tell me everything that lies here," Kurt tells him, again pointing to his chest.

"But will the real you accept it?" Todd asks.

"I don't know. I am not the real Kurt Wagner. Maybe he won't. Then again, maybe he will," the Kurt in his mind tells him before stepping back in the darkness.

Todd sighs, both mentally and physically. He hears a soft tapping noise that grows to an almost thudding noise. Something starts to drip on him. The creature guarding him huffs and gets up. After a few minutes, Todd feels icy cold water gathering at his feet. Although he realizes he is no longer a prisoner in his own mind, he is still trapped in this situation, powerless to free himself. Silently he hopes the real night creeper is on his way to rescue him. For he knows no one else will.


	9. Chapter 9

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 9

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elsewhere, three four wheelers stop at the edge of the woods. The riders dismount and the youngest leads them by foot. Logan had warned them not to enter the woods by the ground vehicles once the rain started or risk getting stuck. The rain pelted down against their helmets and coats, mixing with the dirt beneath their feet which makes every step a slippery one. The youngest hurries forward, wanting to go back to the institute as soon as possible.

After several minutes, they find the fallen tree but without the amphibian mutant. Kurt removes his helmet, not caring that his exposed head is getting drenched. His yellow eyes shine despite the rain as he looks around. Then he approaches Jason.

"Are you sure this is where you left him?! God help me if this is part of your idiotic prank," Kurt warns.

Jason lifts the face shield of his helmet before replying.

"This is the spot, I'm sure of it! Look, there's our tracks!" Jason points off to the right where there are sets of tire tracks filling with water.

Logan shines a flashlight around the ground, looking for any sign of what could have happened. With the current downpour, he knew he wouldn't be able to catch a scent. He stops when he finds a pair of boot prints. He turns and gestures over to Kurt.

"Go back to the institute!" Kurt orders Jason before walking over to Logan.

Logan raises his face shield as Kurt approaches.

"Looks like he had some company after being left here. Two different size foot prints. This one sinks in more after this point. Whoever it is, carried him and took him in that direction," Logan explains, pointing in a direction towards the right.

"Then we go that way," Kurt replies and makes his way through the trees with Wolverine behind him, scratching the trees as they went.

Twenty minutes later, they crouch down outside of a log cabin and poorly maintained shed. A single red pickup truck is parked over to the side. They could see from the window that there were two shadows moving around inside.

"Ready elf?" Logan asks as he stands up.

He see's Kurt nod out of the corner of his eye before he starts to walk towards the front door. Kurt moves silently towards the open window and quickly pulls off his rain coat. Logan pounds on the front door.

"Eh, one minute!" A voice calls out.

The door slowly opens and a rifle pokes out, aimed at Logan's chest.

"What do ya want mister?" The man asks.

"Easy bub. Just need a little help is all," Logan replies.

"And what kinda help you be needing?"

"Information," Logan answers.

"You came to the wrong place for that. This ain't no information center pal so I suggest you get moving on," the man tells Logan, poking the gun into Logan's chest.

"Wrong answer bub," Logan mutters before quickly extending his claws and slicing the rifle in half.

The man cries out and falls backwards into the house.

"It's another mutant!" The man shouts.

"Hold it right there!" Billy shouts, standing a few feet back from the other two, his gun raised.

Logan smiles when he hears the bamf. The man never notices the smell but cries out in alarm when a spaded blue tail wraps around his gun and yanks it out of his hands, throwing it aside. Before the man can reply, a pair of hands grab him and lift him up towards the ceiling. Billy looks up and screams in terror at the sight of the demon spawn that holds him.

"Where is he?!" Kurt yells into the man's face once the man's cry fades, making sure the hunter see's his sharp fangs.

"The...the other mutant? He-he's in the shed! Go ahead and take him! We didn't do nothing to him, I swear!" Billy answers, his gaze unable to look away from the fangs.

"Go ahead and get him. I'll take care of these two," Logan tells Kurt.

Kurt drops the man to the ground. When Billy looks back up, all he see's are traces of fading mist.

"Now, how are we going to settle this?" Logan asks with a smirk, cracking his neck.

Kurt hurries over to the shed and lifts the latch. He pulls open the door and is surprised as a large shaggy grey Newfoundland lunges towards him, it's teeth bared. The dog lands on the ground, surrounded in purplish mist. It sneezes from the scent as the shed door closes, trapping it outside in the rain.

With the dog out of the way, Kurt turns around and looks through the darkness. It doesn't take him long to find Todd. He takes the few steps to the back of the shed to the shivering, wet form.

"Todd? Todd it's me," Kurt whispers as he kneels down.

He watches as the amphibian mutant jerks at hearing his voice.

"Fuzzy?" Todd whispers, his voice dry.

"That's right," Kurt confirms as he gently pulls off the blindfold.

Todd blinks, and almost panics when he notices that all he can see is darkness. But he relaxes when meeting Kurt's glowing yellow eyes.

"Been waiting for you Nightcreeper," Todd tells him, remembering what the Kurt in his mind had suggested.

"Sorry I didn't get here sooner," Kurt mutters as he works on the ropes around Todd's wrists. Once those are lose, he quickly removes the ones on Todd's ankles. Before Todd could move, Kurt hugs the amphibian mutant and together they vanish from the shed.

They reappear near the four wheelers. Both turn at hearing something slash in the water, Kurt putting himself in front of Todd. To their relief, Logan walks out from the trees. He holds out Kurt's discarded rain coat.

"He okay?" Logan asks.

Kurt's eyes widen as he realizes he never asked and looks back to Todd with a fearful expression.

"I'm fine," Todd answers.

Kurt steps forward and takes his rain coat and hands it to Todd.

"Then let's get out of here," Logan tells them before putting

Todd pulls the raincoat on as Kurt bamfs to where his helmet is and returns as he puts it on. Logan waits for them to get on the other four wheeler before he leads the way back to the mansion. 

Once they turn off the four wheelers, Logan finds himself alone in the garage. He sighs after removing his helmet.

"So much for gratitude. Some things never change," Logan grumbles.

Todd pulls back the hood of the raincoat and wipes his eyes from the rain. It takes him a few minutes to realize he is not standing in his room.

"Kurt?" He whispers in the dark room but as he looks for the X-man, he finds himself alone.

Confused, he looks over the room he is dripping in. Due to the length of time since he has been in this room last, it takes several minutes before his memory reveals that he is in Kurt's bedroom. Most seemed to have gone unchanged during the period of time. There were only minor differences that he notices. An extra book case, for example, is in the corner where a lamp use to be, filled to the fullest. There was a tv sitting on the desk that once held Kurt's school books and framed photos. A DVD player sits on top of it. On the floor, a few steps from him, is a pile of blankets and pillows. An empty bowl sits on top of the pile. It is the only signs that could be considered sloppy in this room.

As he steps back, so the blankets won't get wet from him dripping, Kurt appears behind him. Todd bumps into him and knocks the armful of items out of Kurt's grasp.

"Ah!" Todd cries out and quickly backs away from Kurt, towards the wall.

"It's okay, it's okay. No harm done," Kurt tells him.

Kurt moves over towards the wall and flips a light switch. He frowns for a moment at the panic expression on Todd before quickly changing it to a smile.

"Sorry for leaving you. I thought we needed a few things. Like towels," Kurt explains, kneeling down and picking up one of the towels and holds it out to Todd.

Todd accepts it and holds it between his knees as he pulls the raincoat off. He looks around for somewhere to put it.

"Here, I'll go and hang that up. I'll be right back," Kurt says as he gets up and takes the raincoat from Todd before bamfing away.

Todd stays by the wall, not wanting to bang into Kurt when he returns and uses the towel to dry his long hair. He smiles when Kurt returns and watches him set down a laundry basket he had brought with him this trip.

"You can toss your wet clothes and towel in here. I grabbed you a change of clothes earlier," Kurt tells him, setting a pile of clothes on the floor closer to Todd. He glances up at Todd for a moment before turning around and grabbing one of the many towels he brought with him and starts the task of drying his wet hair.

Todd watches Kurt for a few moments, barely rubbing his towel through his own hair, until Kurt sets the towel aside and strips out of his drenched shirt. Feeling his cheeks flush, he turns around. Snapping out of it, he crouches down and reaches behind him for the dry clothes.

Unknown to him, Kurt had noticed Todd turning away. He thought of asking if something was wrong and nearly did so before Todd pulled the wet sweater off. Even though he had seen these scars once before, his breath still became trapped in his lungs and his heart ached. Kurt now watches Todd drying the pale almost yellowish skin. When Todd touches the back of his head, Kurt notices Todd flinching in pain.

"I thought you said you were okay?" Kurt asks as he walks over to Todd.

"I...it didn't hurt until I touched it," Todd replies, flinching again when he touches the spot.

"Let me take a look. If that's alright with you?" Kurt asks, stopping a couple steps from Todd.

Todd nods, giving him permission. He feels Kurt move closer to his back.

"I'm just going to part your hair a little," Kurt tells him.

Todd tries to stay still despite his body shivering as his skin grows cold. He feels Kurt's fingers carefully move through his moist hair, along his scalp. He flinches for a third time when Kurt touches the spot that sends a shooting pain through his head.

Kurt carefully parts the hair and examines the swollen lump hidden there. He is relieved to find there isn't any blood.

"How did this happen?" Kurt asks.

"They hit me with something. I think it was with their gun," Todd answers truthfully.

Todd feels Kurt's fingers withdraw but he can still sense Kurt standing close to him. Todd is about to say Kurt's name when a grey hooded sweater is pulled over his head.

"Sorry. You were shivering. You should finish changing quickly before you get sick," Kurt tells him, his voice barely a whisper.

Todd nods as he drops the towel and slides his arms into the sleeves. The two continue changing and drying off without any further conversation.

When Todd is finished, he remains facing towards the wall as he waits for some sign that the Nightcreeper is finished.

"It's okay for you to turn around now," Kurt tells him.

Todd slowly turns around and finds Kurt sitting on the large bed, smiling softly towards him. He is wearing loose flannel pants and a white under shirt. His former rival, Nightcrawler, seemed to be waiting for him to do or say something but Todd's mind is drawing a blank.

"You are still shivering. Do you still feel cold?" Kurt asks him.

"A little," Todd admits.

"Well...umm, ugh, it's been too long since I've done this," Kurt mutters.

Todd is confused by this but doesn't say anything. He still can't think of what to say. A part of him snickers at the irony of this. After years of not being allowed to speak his thoughts, he now finds himself unable to think of what to say.

"Todd, there's a reason I brought us to my room. I...I kinda had this planned out. Not you being taken to the woods or getting taken by those men. My plan didn't involve those things. Anyway, I wanted to talk with you," Kurt tries to share, mentally kicking himself for his poor attempt to explain his intentions as he runs a hand through his short hair.

"Me too," Todd whispers.

Kurt opens his mouth to say something but then closes it again. Instead he gets up and walks over to the pile of blankets and pillows.

"Would you like to sit down over here first?" Kurt suggests.

Todd nods and walks over to the bedding on the floor. Kurt sits himself down on one of the pillows and places one next to him and pats it lightly, indicating for Todd to sit down on it. Todd does so and as soon as he stops shifting, Kurt wraps a blanket around him.

"Because you're still shivering," Kurt explains, mentally thanking the stars his blue fur hides his blush.

"Thanks."

The two sit in silence for a moment, unsure as to who should speak first. Kurt nearly jumps when he hears Todd's voice.

"I waited for you and again you came. You never let me down," Todd states, looking not at Kurt but at the edges of the blanket wrapped around him. "That alone means a lot to me. You...mean a lot to me."

Kurt could swear his jaw hit the ground and was rolling across the floor. Here, had things gone according to his plan, he would be the one to say those words to Todd. And take the defensive pose that Todd is in now, with his arms raised slightly to cover his face the instant he see's a fist. He sighs and shakes his head, his lips in a wide grin.

"You mean a lot to me too, Todd," Kurt replies.

"Do...do you mean it the same way I do though?" Todd asks nervously.

Kurt doesn't miss the desperation in Todd's voice. Time to take action. Possibly time to take a beating after, Kurt jokes to himself. Slowly, keeping his eyes on Todd, he shifts to a crawling position. He leans his upper body towards Todd, freezing for a moment when Todd tenses, until his face is only inches from Todd's.

Todd is terrified at this moment. He keeps telling himself that he trusts the fuzzy blue gecko. And it's this thought that allows him to raise his head, parting his long hair that was covering his face. It takes a few precious seconds for him to be able to muster his courage to raise his eyes and look at Kurt. The smile fuzzy is giving him, even with the gleaming fangs, is welcomed.

Kurt's eyes soften as Todd meets them, not in the normal glancing movements like earlier but in a sincere steady gaze. He takes a deep breath and slowly closes his eyes as he closes the gap between them, gently placing his lips on Todd's. The kiss only lasts a moment before Kurt pulls back.

"Does it mean the same?" Kurt asks.

Todd nods, a slight smile forming in the corner of his mouth before he leans forward and returns the kiss. Five years he had hoped for a moment like this. He never allowed himself to actually believe this moment would happen. But it was the moment he often dreamed of in those long five years. This is the moment that helped him from giving up. Nothing but pure joy fills him.

"What are you doing you sick little creep!" A voice shouts in his head.

Todd suddenly pulls away, breaking the kiss. He moans in pain as he grasps the sides of his head.

"Todd, are you okay?" Kurt asks, suddenly alarmed.

"I...I'm sorry," Todd moans, hating that the moment was ruined. And that he was the reason.

"It's alright Todd. I understand. We'll take things slow. We have plenty of time," Kurt tells him as he carefully puts an arm around Todd's shoulders.

Still feeling terrible for ruining the moment, Todd could only lower his head until his hair once again hides his face.

Kurt sighs before using his tail to feel around for the remote amongst the blankets. When he finally finds it, he takes it in his hand and hits the power button, turning both tv and DVD player on. He glances over at Todd before hitting the play button. He watches Todd as the movie plays, smiling mischievously.

Todd hears the opening advertisements and resists looking up at the screen. But after a few minutes, he hears familiar opening music and dialogue and he can no longer resist. Todd glances away only for a moment to look at Kurt.

"Seen this before?" Kurt says with a playful grin.

"It's the same movie we watched together," Todd whispers.

Kurt watches as Todd becomes engross in the movie. Again Kurt finds himself seeing not the Todd in beside him but the Todd from fives years ago. Eating popcorn almost absentmindedly with his long tongue, eyes glued to the screen. The memory fades when he feels something stroking the tip of his tail. Looking down at Todd's lap, he see's that his tail had somehow laid itself across it and Todd's cool tipped fingers were stroking the spade shaped tip gently. Smiling, Kurt finally turns to the movie.


	10. Chapter 10

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 10

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning sun slowly starts it's rise, making the night sky brighten and the stars fade from sight. Kurt's eyes open to the still darken room. He feels a moment of disorientation, wondering why he is on the floor rather than his bed. When he tries to shift his right hand, that is when it comes back. He rolls over to his right side and smiles at the sleeping form next to him.

Todd is sleeping, curled up on his left side, a position that makes him appear smaller than what he really is. Kurt listens to him take in a breath then release it. His eyes go to his own right hand and he gently rubs one of his three fingers over the pale skin of Todd's hand that is holding his firmly.

Kurt wonders if this is the most sleep Todd has had since coming here. He knows when Todd admits to having little sleep, that isn't an understatement. The dark circles under his eyes have not showed the slightest sign of fading. And Kurt notices how Todd would bite his lower lip to keep from yawning. Sometimes hard enough to bleed.

He fights hard to resist running a finger over those lips. The same lips that he had kissed last night. And to his surprise, had kissed back. He hates to admit it, but until that moment he had doubted what the Professor had told him earlier. How could Todd possibly return his feelings? Specially after he had been...raped. The very thought of the word makes his chest tighten. Somehow, even after going through that, Todd had been able to not only accept Kurt's feelings but return them as well. His mind whispers such warnings such as maybe Todd responded out of fear or somehow felt he had to return the kiss. But since making up his mind to pursue this until the end, he chooses to ignore these annoying whispers and instead recalls the nod and the slight smile Todd did when he had asked if their feelings were the same. In the end, he trusts Todd.

A knock on his door followed by someone opening it snaps him out of his thoughts.

"Hey Kurt, training is in...what is he doing in here?" Scott asks.

Kurt quickly sits up and faces his team mate.

"Shh! Can't you see he's sleeping?" Kurt hisses, holding a finger to his lips.

"So? That doesn't explain why he is in here," Scott replies stubbornly, crossing his arms.

"I invited him to my room. We watched a movie then fell asleep. Not that it is of any concern to you," Kurt replies coldly.

"Wasn't bad enough that you brought him here, so now you are being buddies with him?" Scott asks in disbelief.

"And what if I am? Why does it matter to you?" Kurt challenges.

Scott steps back, caught off guard by the response. Frowning, he turns around.

"Maybe today you should miss the training session," Scott mutters before he starts to walk out of the room.

"I think I will," Kurt replies before Scott closes the door behind him.

Kurt listens as Scott knocks on the next door, waking someone else up. He runs his free hand through his hair.

"Don't worry about Scott. He just need some time. They all do," Kurt comments.

He noticed how the grip of the hand holding his had tighten as soon as Scott had spoke. Looking down at Todd, he could see Todd's amber colored eyes watching him through his long hair.

"How about I get us some breakfast?"

Meanwhile, as the other members of the X-men finish putting on their battle gear, Scott is waiting by the door that leads into the Danger Room. As the others walk past him, he spots the one he wants to talk to.

"Rogue, can you hold a second?" Scott asks.

Rogue looks questionably over at Scott but steps back to let the others pass by. When it's just the two of them, Scott closes the door.

"What's eating you today Scott?" Rogue asks.

"It's about Kurt," Scott answers.

"Is he okay? Ah didn't see him go in with the others. Ah'll go check on him," Rogue offers and starts to turn away to do so.

"He not sick Rogue. But I think there is something wrong with him," Scott tells her.

"What do you mean?" Rogue asks, looking back.

"He's getting too close to Toad," Scott states.

Rogue rubs her forehead, a headache starting to develop.

"Give it a break Scott. Kurt has his reasons for bringing that slime ball here. If he doesn't want us to know what those reasons are, then ah think we should leave it alone," Rogue tells Scott before walking towards the door to the Danger room.

"Did you know that Toad was in Kurt's room last night? Or that they were holding hands?" Scott asks.

The last question stops Rogue in her tracks.

"What did you just say?"

Later, Todd leaves the bathroom, fresh from a shower. Kurt is sitting on the stairs, reading a book when Todd comes out. He offers Todd a smile before getting up. Todd smiles back for just a moment before looking around fearfully.

"They are all at the training session. Even the new students. Logan is running the exercise. It's just us and the Professor," Kurt tells Todd.

"Will you get in trouble for not going?" Todd asks quietly.

"Nein. After last night, I could use the break," Kurt replies. "So, what would you like to do now?"

Todd stops as if he had just walked into a invisible wall. He doesn't know how to respond to this question. Choices, what are the choices, he thinks but can't think of an answer. He notices Kurt suddenly looking away for a moment and nodding.

"Looks like we will have to wait on that. The Professor reminded me that you have a session with him. He said I could be there, if you want me to be," Kurt tells Todd, not missing the brief flow of emotions that cross Todd's face starting with relief, panic, then calm.

Although talking to the Professor isn't actually a scary experience, it does make Todd very nervous to sit before the powerful telepath. Not because of his power, for the Professor has made it clear he won't use his power on Todd, but for the simple fact that this man holds the power to have Todd removed, both from the grounds and from Kurt. If it ever happens, Todd isn't sure what he would do. This is what scares him during these sessions. The idea that Kurt will be there brings a strong sense of comfort to his mind.

"Do you want to be there?" Todd asks quietly.

"As long as you want me to be, yes," Kurt answers.

Within seconds, thanks to a single port, they are outside of the Professor's door. Kurt knocks before opening the door and steps to the side to let Todd enter the office first. Todd steps in but as he passes Kurt, he finds his hand seeking out Kurt's. Kurt accepts the webbed hand and follows Todd inside, closing the door behind him.

They find the Professor behind his desk, smiling warmly at the pair.

"Good Morning Kurt. Mr.Tolansky. Please, take a seat," he greets them.

"Good morning Professor," Kurt returns the greeting as both he and Todd sit down.

"So Mr.Tolansky, this session will be like the other ones we've already had in the past. With the exception of Kurt being here. He is here just for support. I assume that is alright with you?" Professor Xavier asks Todd.

Todd nods in agreement, looking over at Kurt for a moment.

"Then let's start with what happened yesterday. Were you hurt at all?" The Professor asks.

"The...the back," Todd struggles to answer this question. He feels Kurt give his hand an encouraging squeeze. He swallows and tries again. "The back of my head was hit but it's fine now."

"I see. I do want to offer my apologies for the prank that the younger students had pulled involving you. I have already spoken to them and they will be held accountable for their actions," Professor Xavier tells Todd.

Todd nods slightly to this.

"Logan assures me that the two men that held you captive will also be held responsible for their actions. So, I will suggest that for the next few days you stay close to the institute and the grounds," Professor Xavier advises, despite knowing that Todd has no intentions of going outside much less leave the grounds.

Todd again nods.

"With this matter aside, how about we move on? Maybe with Kurt here, you could tell us a little about what happened to you these past five years?" The Professor asks, glancing at Kurt whose eyes widen slightly.

"Al...alright," Todd agrees, drawing Kurt's attention.

"Are you sure you are ready to start to talking about it Mr. Tolansky? There is no need to push yourself," Professor Xavier asks with concern.

"Y-yes, sir," Todd replies, squeezing Kurt's hand at the same time.

"Alright then. Start where ever you want Mr. Tolansky. And so you know, whatever you share will be only shared between myself, Logan, and Mr. McCoy. No one else," Professor Xavier shares.

Todd nods. He takes a deep breath and slowly looks up at the Professor before lowering his head.

"It...it started with Pietro coming back after taking off one...one night," Todd begins to explain to them.

As Kurt listens to how it started and what his first few weeks were like with Pyro and Lockdown. The Professor had to stop him after he explained one of the very first rules he was taught, no hopping. Kurt had thought about this last night when they did a late night kitchen raid. Todd use to hop everywhere. He preferred that to walking. Yet he hasn't seen Todd make a single hop anywhere. Now he knew why. He tries hard not to glance down at Todd's bare feet as he walks by. The Professor had just asked Todd to step outside for a moment so he could talk with Kurt alone. Todd doesn't let go of his hand until the last possible moment.

The Professor sighs once the door closes.

"I wish I could say that is the worse of it. But I believe we both knew that was only the tip of the ice berg," Professor Xavier comments sadly.

"Professor...I don't know what to do," Kurt admits sadly.

"You are already doing what you need to do Kurt. He needs your support. He needs you. I believe you told him what you had to last night?" The Professor asks.

"Yes, Professor. You were right. I guess you can say...we are together now," Kurt replies.

"I understand. And like I told you before, I support both of you. But I do want to warn you Kurt. The others are realizing there is something between you two. They may not be...supportive of this," the Professor cautions.

"I understand Professor. They are just going to have to accept this though. I won't give him up. I won't lose him again," Kurt swears as he stands up.

"If there are any problems, please come see me," Professor Xavier tells him.

Kurt nods and leaves the room, finding Todd standing a few steps down the hall.

Todd doesn't look up when Kurt walks over to him. Instead he listens to sounds Kurt's feet make as he approaches. He is caught off guard when Kurt pulls him forward, Kurt's blue furred arms wrap around his thin body. Kurt is holding him in a grip that is nearly painful but Todd doesn't want Kurt to let him go. Instead he raises his hands and clutches Kurt's shirt and presses his face against Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt could feel the body he's holding tremble in his arms. He doesn't ask any questions. He doesn't speak at all. Instead he focuses on what the Professor had said just moments ago. Todd needs his support. Todd needs him. Kurt is bound to not let Todd down again.

"Ah didn't believe it," Rogue comments, standing at the end of the hallway.

Kurt feels Todd tense as he takes in a surprised breath. He lifts his head to look up at his adopted sister but he doesn't let go of Todd.

"Rogue..." Kurt says as he tries to think of something more to say.

"Don't 'Rogue' me. We need to talk. Now," Rogue tells him.

"Fine. Let me take him to his room first. The. We will talk," Kurt replies.

"Ah'll be outside on the front steps," Rogue tells him before walking away.

"I'm sorry," Todd whispers.

"Don't be. I'm not. I'm going to take you to your room now. When I'm done talking with Rogue, I'll come back," Kurt promises. He feels Todd nod and together they vanish.

Rogue just sits down when she hears the bamf noise from behind her. She doesn't bother to turn around.

"Is that why you brought him here?" Rogue asks.

Kurt walks over and sits down on the steps but leaves plenty of space between them.

"He asked me to bring him here Rogue," Kurt answers.

"Did he ask you to hold him then just now? Or to hold his hand earlier?" Rogue fires off angrily.

"No."

"So tell me what exactly is going on Kurt! Because ah can't make sense of this," Rogue demands, finally turning to look at the elf like mutant.

Kurt takes a deep breath and also turns to face her.

"I love him Rogue. We're together," Kurt states, relieved to hear that his voice had remained firm.

"Say that again?" Rogue asks in disbelief.

"I said I love him," Kurt repeats, looking her directly in her eyes.

"How can you be in love with him?!" Rogue shouts.

"I'm not in love with him. I love him. This isn't a crush. And as for how, I can't answer that," Kurt replies. His tail twitches behind him, revealing how nervous he really is.

"No way! No! That's...that's just sick!" Rogue shouts.

"Which part? That I'm gay? Or is it because I'm choosing to be with Toad?" Kurt asks.

"What about when you were with Amanda?" Rogue challenges.

"What about it? She was nice. But as you know it didn't work out. She wasn't the one," Kurt tells her.

"So she wasn't the one. How do you know Todd is the one? And why him?" Rogue argues.

"Rogue, please, listen to me. I didn't...I didn't expect this to happen. Years ago we were enemies. But things changed right before Apocalypse. And they continued to. I just didn't realize it until he went missing. But I know now," Kurt tells her.

"He didn't go missing Kurt! He joined Magneto! He always runs to Magneto's side when he calls. It's only a matter of time before he does it again. So I'll ask you again, why him?" Rogue asks.

"He won't go back to Magneto. There's no way he would. As for why him, well, it just is. Rogue, as I said before, I love him. That's all there is to it. I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer," Kurt replies.

"Stop saying that!" Rogue shouts.

"No. I'm sorry Rogue. I'm sorry it's not Amanda. I'm sorry it's not a girl. I'm sorry it's not someone other than Todd. But it is him. I won't give him up either. So don't even ask me to choose," Kurt warns.

Rogue sighs. Her anger had actually fizzed out a few minutes ago. She just needed to see how serious her blue elf brother was about this. She couldn't help but wish it was someone other than Toad but if it makes Kurt happy, then she won't mess with it.

"Ah ain't going to ask you to choose. What does the Professor say about it?" Rogue asks, needing this last bit of information.

"He supports it," Kurt answers.

"Well then, so do ah," Rogue replies. She has to repress a smile at Kurt's surprised expression. "Ah mean it. Ah don't care about your sexuality either. Ah'll be honest, ah don't like the idea of you and Toad together. But I won't interfere with whatever your relationship is."

Just as she gets these words out, Kurt suddenly hugs her. He is careful not to touch any of her skin as he gives her a good squeeze.

"Enough of the touchy feely stuff elf!" She cries out.

"Sorry," he apologizes as he releases her and sits back.

"Yeah, yeah. You should have told me this sooner you know," Rogue teases.

"Sorry, I just...I just accepted it myself," Kurt admits.

"Ah see. Well, ah better give you the heads up. It was Scott who told me ah should talk to you. Something about holding hands and Toad was in your room?"

"It's Todd, not Toad. And we watched movies last night and ended up falling asleep. And yes, we held hands," Kurt replies, looking concerned about Scott. "The Professor gave me a similar warning as well."

"Well be prepared. He ain't going to like this one bit. And ah want to have a little talk with your boyfriend," Rogue tells him.

"Rogue..."

"Trust me fuzzy, ah won't scare him too badly. Just a little chit chat is all. Gotta live up to my sisterly duties," Rogue replies with a wicked grin.

"Is there any way I can talk you out of it?" Kurt asks hopefully.

"Ah'm afraid not," Rogue answers as she gets up.

Kurt gets up and follows her back inside the institute. He doesn't try to stop her when she stops in front of Todd's room. Instead he stands off to the side as she knocks on the door.

"You have to go in, he won't respond to the knocking. And please Rogue, be careful with him," Kurt asks.

"Don't worry. This will be pretty quick," Rogue replies before opening the door and stepping into the bedroom,

She finds Todd sitting in his usual spot on the floor by the dresser. She catches him lowering his head, meaning he had looked up when she came in. Probably thinking it was Kurt, she thinks to herself. She walks over and kneels down in front of him.

"Hey Todd. How have you been?" Rogue answers.

Todd doesn't respond to her question, instead shifts his legs so he can hug his legs.

"Ah know about you and Kurt. Do you love him?" She asks.

"Yes," Todd whispers.

She takes a moment to take in both his answer and his behavior before saying anything further. Besides the time in the Professor's office, she had not actually seen Todd. And certainly not up close. The first thing she notices is the lack of smell. The second thing is is the lack of false confidence and attitude. She remembers when she was with the Brotherhood, Toad was always trying to act tough, like nothing bothered him. He also had a mouth. But as she looks at him, she can't seem to find a trace of those traits anywhere. This Toad doesn't seem to be hiding his insecurity or his emotions. And he is disturbingly quiet.  
She also notes the physical changes, such as how pale he is and how thin. There could be no doubt, Toad had a hard life while he was gone.

"Ah see. Well ah just told Kurt that you two have my support. Ah'll try to keep the others from messing with you too much. But ah can't make any promises," Rogue tells him.

"Thank you," Todd replies, lifting his head a little.

With this small bit of movement, Rogue is able to see the faint smile that is usually hidden by his hair. She also notices the burn scar. One that you could tell was not from any accident. This brings her temper to a boil for a moment. Sure Toad was slimy and could be very annoying but she couldn't think of anything that would merit leaving him such a scar.

"You're welcome sugar. So, since you are dating my brother, ah think we should get to know each other a bit better. Or at least talk more. If you ever need to talk but Kurt ain't around, feel free to talk to me, okay?" Rogue offers.

Todd nods his head in agreement.

"But I want to warn you if you hurt the elf in anyway, I'll do more than knock you out. Are we clear?" She asks.

Again, Todd nods, this time in a quick movement.

"Good. As long as you don't do that, we'll get along fine. Ah told Kurt this little talk will be a quick one so ah better go before he starts shedding. We'll talk again later," a Rogue tells him as she gets up. She takes one last look before she leaves the room.

"He's all yours. And don't worry, ah was gentle with him," she tells a very worried Kurt.

"Is...is he okay? I mean, to you does he seem okay?" Kurt asks.

"No," Rogue answers honestly.


	11. Chapter 11

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 11

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

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A few days go by without incident to Kurt's surprise. He has been waiting for Scott or Jean or someone to say something to him. But no one has. And Kurt decided he wasn't going to make the first move in this situation. Part of him told him he should just have the team gather and tell them all at once. But he didn't think he could handle the reaction from the whole team at once. No, he decided one on one confrontations would be easier than facing the whole team at once. He knew it could still get ugly and there would be fighting, he may even lose the few friendships he has but he reminds himself that Todd is worth it.

He thinks about Todd's subtle changes these last few days. He had begin to greet Kurt before Kurt says a word, he shares more of his thoughts without Kurt needing to prod him along, and so forth. It was a pleasant change but not nearly as good as noticing the weight he was finally putting on. Todd no longer looked like he was about to drop dead or blow away with a light breeze. Kurt remembers Hank saying he still has a ways to go before he reaches a healthy weight but the progress was good regardless.

Another change was the dark circles under Todd's eyes becoming lighter. A sign of him getting proper sleep. Even the Professor noticed how brightly his eyes seem to shine with alertness. It was probably this reason that he has not said anything about Todd sleeping in Kurt's room. After the movie night, Kurt noticed that when Todd had 'slept' in his room the following night he looked like he didn't get a wink of sleep. When Kurt asked, Todd confirmed this. So that night, Kurt put together another movie night. It worked, for Todd fell asleep, again holding Kurt's hand. The next night they didn't bother with a movie. The only downside was that for whatever reason, Todd would not sleep on the bed. Kurt didn't mind the aches he woke up to from sleeping on the floor though.

The best part was seeing the bruises finally fading, specially those on his wrists. Todd still wouldn't wear T-shirts but didn't try to hide his wrists like he did. Same with his face. He started to brush his long hair back out of his face, only leaving enough to cover his scar. Kurt had suggested a hair cut but from the fearful silent expression he received, he quickly dropped the issue. Instead he made a mental note that next time he was in town to pick up some hair ties.

There were still some concerning behaviors however. Like the headaches. Hank assured him there was nothing physical causing them. Which only left something mental. They happened suddenly, almost out of the blue. One time Kurt thought Todd was going to initiate a kiss when a headache occurred. Another time was when Todd started to laugh at a joke Kurt had just told. A time before that was when he simply smiled at Kurt. Kurt had thought about asking about the headaches. But something told him he shouldn't. Not yet. Again, let Todd make the first move.

Still, the good out weighs the bad, Kurt thinks. He is on his way to meet with the Professor to attend a session with Todd who is walking quietly beside him. He could tell Todd was nervous. The Professor told them that this session will be different from the usual. Which didn't say much since the last few sessions were different. The Professor had explained that they will not have Todd reveal everything that happened during those five years all at once but let him reveal parts at a time and give him the time to face what he revealed. Allowing him to heal from one wound before opening another the Professor had said. Kurt agreed.

"Kurt?"

Kurt stops and looks back when he realizes Todd isn't next to him. Todd is looking at him in confusion. Kurt looks to Todd's left and see's the office door which he had managed to walk pass as he was lost in his thoughts.

"Opps. Sorry, wasn't paying attention," Kurt mutters embarrassingly.

"If...if you don't want to go," Todd starts to say as Kurt walks back over to him.

"It's not that. I was just thinking and not paying attention. Besides, I told you before, I'll be there as long as you want me there. Do you still want me in there with you?" Kurt asks.

"Yes," Todd answers quietly, still looking at Kurt as if he doesn't quite believe him.

Kurt knocks on the door before opening it and again allows Todd to enter first. He follows Todd and nearly runs into the fellow mutant who stopped suddenly.

"Todd?" Kurt says his boyfriend's name with concern before looking in the direction Todd is looking.

It was Kurt's turn to freeze on the spot. He swallows nervously as he meet's Logan's gaze.

"Morning Elf. And Tolansky, wasn't it?" Logan greets them, smirking at their nervousness.

Todd nods stiffly.

"It's alright, Logan is already aware of the relationship between you two," Professor Xavier tells them as he moves out of the corner of the office towards them.

"Yeah I know. Ain't too keen on the idea but whatever floats your boat. Just know I don't want to see it, understand?" Logan adds.

Both men nod their head.

"Go ahead and take a seat. As I told you yesterday, this will not be the usual session. Which is why Logan is here," Professor Xavier explains.

Todd and Kurt carefully sit down, still watching Logan as a mouse might watch a cat.

"So, how are you doing today Mr. Tolansky?" Professor Xavier asks politely.

"Umm, good sir," Todd answers quietly.

"That's good. Well the reason Logan is here is because he will be supervising an exercise involving the two of you," Professor Xavier explains.

"An exercise Professor? Not in the Danger Room will it?" Kurt asks.

"No, of course not. Mr. Tolansky isn't ready for that. It will be on the grounds. I think the exercise in mind would prove quite beneficial to both of you, specially concerning the fact that you, Kurt, have not been attending the Danger Room training sessions," the Professor comments.

"Oh..." Kurt replies sheepishly.

"We'll talk about that more later," the Professor tells him with a understanding smile.

"Well I think that covers my part. I will be waiting for the two of you outside in the back lot," Logan tells them.

They watch as Logan and the Professor exchange nods before Logan leaves the room.

"Don't worry. I'm sure both of you will enjoy what Logan has in mind. Moving on, I have something's for you Mr. Tolansky."

They watch as the Professor moves over to his desk and pulls a few items from an unseen drawer. He moves over closer to Todd and holds the items out to him.

"Here, go ahead and take them," Professor Xavier encourages.

Todd reaches out, his hands trembling slightly as he takes the items from the Professor. He looks down at them. He finds himself holding a sketchbook, a leather journal, and some pencils and pens.

"Rogue mentioned that you use to sketch when you were staying at the Boarding house. I believe that this and keeping a journal to record your thoughts might help with your recovery. It is not mandatory to do these of course. And if you do choose to do these things, you are not expected to share them with anyone. The choice is up to you," Professor Xavier explains.

"Thank you," Todd replies. He continues to look at the items in his hands. A smile slowly forms on his lips.

"Well, that will be all for today. Go ahead and meet up with Logan," the Professor tells them.

Both start to get up and walk towards the door.

"Oh, there is one more thing," Professor Xavier calls out.

Kurt looks back, noticing Todd has gone still again as if in fear.

"Normally, when any of my students get involved in a relationship similar to yours, I do not encourage sharing the same room. Specially at night," Professor Xavier comments.

Kurt looks down at his feet. So much for the Professor not saying anything, he thinks. His stomach tightens and twists. He feels Todd grasping his hand tightly.

"But, you both are adults. So I trust your decisions. If you would like, you can share a room together. Again though, that is your decision. Have a good day," Professor Xavier finishes.

He turns around to hide an amused smile from the young men. He had watched as both of them had suddenly looked up at him in surprise. He knew they had both thought of the worse when he brought up the subject. He sensed the pure terror that had filled Todd at the thought of being separated from Kurt. A dependency that he normally wouldn't encourage but he knew that without Kurt, Todd would greatly digress to such a state that he doubted Todd could recover from.

"I wouldn't keep Logan waiting long," he cautions the pair.

"He's right," Kurt mutters, snapping out of his shock. "We better get going. Later Professor!"

The Professor goes over to the large picture window and looks out at the beautiful scenery before him.

Meanwhile, Kurt is waiting in the doorway of his room as Todd sets the items the Professor had given him on Kurt's desk. They hadn't talked about what the Professor had given them permission to do. Instead, when Kurt suggested that Todd drop of the items, Todd stopped at Kurt's room. Kurt himself likes the idea of sharing a room with Todd. In a way, it made sense. Todd has been spending most of his time in Kurt's room rather than his own during these last few days.

"Kurt?" Again Todd calls his name.

"Huh? Yes?" Kurt replies, a bit startled.

"Is it okay that I leave these here?" Todd asks, seeming to have repeated this question.

"Yeah, that's fine," Kurt answers.

Todd again looks at Kurt doubtfully but walks over to him. Together they go downstairs and head out the main door. They find Logan sitting underneath a tree.

"Nearly fell asleep waiting for you two," Logan mutters.

"Sorry Logan. We had to stop by our room," Kurt explains before realizing he said 'our room' instead of 'my room'. He steals a glance at Todd but Todd's head is lowered, his face once again hidden by his hair.

"So are you both ready for today's little exercise?" Logan asks as he gets up. He receives nods as his answer. "Good. The objective is simple. Get these," Logan holds up his dog tags "and get them to the front steps of the institute. My suggestion, go all out. Though I doubt that will help you much."

"Wait, if you are just hiding those, why do we have to go all out?" Kurt asks, clearly more than a bit confused.

"Who said anything about hiding them?" Logan replies as he puts the tags around his neck.

"Oh..." Kurt mutters, realizing how foolish is question was. He really shouldn't have expected anything less from Wolverine.

"I'm going to go in there. You two wait two minutes. After that, the fun begins. Good luck. You're going to need it," Logan tells them before walking into the wooden lot.

Kurt turns to Todd.

"So much for supervising," Kurt mutters.

"I-I don't know if I can do this," Todd whispers.

Kurt turns to Todd, his eyes widening at seeing his boyfriend trembling. He places his hands on Todd's shoulders.

"It'll be okay. Logan knows when to hold back. Try to see this as a game,"Kurt tries to sooth the amphibian mutant.

"Games...training sessions...exercises, they all mean the same thing," Todd says quietly before suddenly grabbing the front of Kurt's shirt, pulling him close. "I don't want to get beaten. I don't want to get hurt...I don't want to be in pain!"

At hearing the high pitch panic filled tone, Kurt wraps his arms around Todd, holding him tightly.

"Calm down. It's okay. It won't be like that. I promise it won't be like that," Kurt whispers to the shaking form in his arms. 'Professor?' He calls out mentally.

'I'm already aware of the situation Kurt. Give me just a moment,' The Professor replies in his thoughts.

Kurt feels Todd grow tense for a moment before relaxing.

"Todd?" He whispers his boyfriend's name.

He listens to Todd takes in a few deep breathes, relaxing further with each breath. Finally he pulls back from Kurt's embrace.

"I'm okay now. I'm...I'm sorry," Todd mutters. "I want...I want to be free."

"Todd, I don't under..." Kurt starts to reply before he hears the Professor's voice again in his mind.

'He's alright Kurt. I presented him with a choice. Even though he wishes to forget, he must face the demons created during those five years. As he does so, he must decide if he will be a prisoner of those demons or fight them and be free of them. He just needs to be reminded that he has support regardless of what decision he makes,' Professor Xavier's voice tells him.

"I'm ready," Todd tells him as he turns towards the wooded lot.

"Then let's not keep Logan waiting," Kurt replies with a smile.

He vanishes in a puff of smoke and reappears in one of the nearby trees. He looks back to Todd who is still standing where he was. After a moment, Kurt watches Todd crouch down in an all too familiar toad like stance. With a single hop, he is in the woods, sticking to the trunk of a tree. Todd looks back to where he was, brushing his long hair out of his face. A small grin forms on his lips. The grin quickly fades as he clutches his head, the tell tell sign of one of his headaches.

"Shut up, both of you just shut up!" Todd shouts.

Kurt goes still at the shout. Who is Todd shouting at? What is he shouting at? He watches the smile return before Todd hops towards another tree, then another. Shaking his head, Kurt follows. His mind and body become focused only on the objective.

Later it becomes clear that Todd has done the same when he is able to snag the dog tags while Logan was distracted with Kurt. Logan gets up, wiping the slime off his face while muttering in disgust before standing next to Kurt to watch the other mutant hop off towards the institute.

"Kid ain't half bad," Logan comments. "Except for the sliming part. Not going to ever get use to that part."

"His fighting abilities were...different," Kurt replies.

"Someone's trained him. He's not as sloppy as he was before," Logan points out.

They both start to walk towards the institute. He wonders how Todd is feeling after this exercise and if he will be open to do it again sometime. Maybe even just doing a hop/run through the trees. That sounded perfectly wonderful to Kurt. He hates to admit it but he misses the Danger room training sessions. But Scott has made it clear he isn't welcomed to the team sessions at the moment. Something he will have to take care of soon.

'Kurt, your presence is needed in the War room.' Professor Xavier's voice speaks in Kurt's mind.

Kurt sighs. With the urgency in the Professor's voice, this wasn't going to be good.

"Logan?"

"Yeah, I got the same message elf. You go ahead. I need to get those tags back anyway," Logan replies.

Kurt knows Logan won't give Todd a hard time. Might give him some tips to improve his abilities. But nothing further. He gives Logan a nod before teleporting to the War room.

Hours past as Todd sits on the floor of his room. Wolverine had told him something had come up. A mission most likely. Shortly after he was left in his room, he felt the mansion shake slightly and heard a roar of an engine. He knew it was the X-men's jet. They had left. Kurt was with them.

He hopes that everything goes well for them. Part of him was sure it will. They hadn't changed all that much over the five years. They were still a force to be reckon with. He remembers what Lance said years ago about how serious they were about their training. At the end, Lance believed they were crazy about the training. But with all their battles as enemies, Todd knew that the training paid off for them. He use to think what training could do for the Brotherhood. Now, he knew what it could have done.

Still, he new that training wasn't everything. Things can still go wrong no matter how much you train. And the X-men have lost before. He recalls their first defeat against the Brotherhood. It was all thanks to Wanda, the Scarlet Witch. If it wasn't for her, they would have lost yet again.

"That's right Toady, you need to hide behind a little girl in order to win," Lockdown's voice whispers.

"Back then I did. But not anymore. So leave me alone," Todd replies through gritted teeth.

He waits for a moment to see if Lockdown had anymore to say or if Pyro is going to join in. After the vision or dream he had where he fought them, their berating taunts or orders have been less and less frequent. He's afraid to bring these up to either Kurt or the Professor. Is there a way to admit that you hear the voices of your tormentors even though they are not there, without looking crazy? So far he hasn't thought of a way. But maybe he should at least tell Kurt. He could tell the elf man notices the headaches the voices always caused him. Yet the idea of blue thinking he's off his rocker scares him.

So instead he focuses on the exercise him and Kurt did earlier. He sighs as he remembers how that first hop felt. True, he was hopping around the battlefield but that was what he had to do. That was expected of him. It was part of the order to be a distraction. To fight. Today had been different. He wasn't obeying some order. It wasn't something he had to do to survive. True, it was needed to complete the exercise, but he believes that they wouldn't have said anything if he had chosen to walk or run rather than hop. There wouldn't have been any punishment. He was allowed to hop if he wanted to. And to do so had been an amazing moment. Not even the voices could ruin it.

By the time they had found Wolverine, his heart had been racing with excitement. It was hard to wait for the opening Kurt had promised to provide. But it was fascinating watching Nightcrawler fight. The agility and speed made his movements fluid like, almost like he was dancing rather than fighting. Did Kurt always look like this when he fought?

Then the moment came. Wolverine had managed to knock Kurt to the ground and was showing signs of believing the fight was over when he started to tell Kurt where he had gone wrong. He barely noticed Todd hopping out of a tree and landing behind him. As he turned to face Todd, Todd quickly dropped to the ground and sweep kicked Wolverine's legs out from under him. Turning his head, he spit some of his mutant slime into Wolverine's face. This gave him the few precise seconds to grab the dog tags and pull them off before hopping into the woods.

The whole exercise left him feeling...almost normal again. Like he was before he went to that warehouse. He shakes his head, refusing to think about that. Not right. He wants to clutch to that single moment for just a bit longer. Wolverine had told him that his stealth approach was very well done. But he should be mindful of being within reach of anyone hands, even if they have a face full of slime. Had he used his claws, Todd might have became a pin cushion. Despite the advice, the compliment had settled in his chest and gave him a feeling he wasn't ever familiar with. Pride.

The only downside to all this is that Kurt isn't here to share this with. And with this thought he feels the crushing weight of loneliness. Todd sighs at the sorry sight he must be.

"Can't live without your mate, can you? How about you just wither up and die? Save everyone some trouble," Pyro's voice whispers.

"Don't forget who you are talking to Pyro. Little Toady here doesn't have the guts to do something like that. Remember, we tried to get him to..." Lockdown's voice starts to explain before Todd screams.

"Not that! Not that! Not that!" He shouts over and over to both silence the voices and to keep his mind from replaying that particular memory. His hands are clutching the sides of his head that feels like it's trying to rip apart from the inside. Finally it eases, and Todd let's out a deep breath. He wipes his eyes from the tears that had spilled.

He needs to be near Kurt somehow. He gets up and before he realizes it, he opens his bedroom door. He looks out and checks for the other senior X-men members even though he is sure they all are gone. Very rarely does he recall when they fought them and a team mate wasn't there. He finds his surrounding eerily quiet.

Slowly he steps out of his room, closing the door behind him. Again he looks around. Then with a few well placed hops, he is upstairs. He freezes, trying to listen for any sign that his hops were noticed by the younger mutants who were left behind. Satisfied by the silence, he walks quickly to Kurt's room. When he is outside the door, he again freezes. Maybe the elf didn't go. Maybe he's inside resting, his mind suggests. Swallowing nervously, he knocks lightly on the door.

When there is no answer, he let's out a held breath. Making one last check around him, he turns the door handle and steps into Kurt's room. At first he is confused at how dark it seemed. It wasn't that late after all. But then he remembers that the balcony is the source of the natural light that often fills this large room. Light that is being prevented by the heavy red curtains. He doesn't turn on the light switch or move to open the curtains.

Instead he moves slowly to the blankets and pillows on the floor. He passes the ones he has been using and goes for the ones that Kurt has been sleeping in. Carefully, as if Kurt was sleeping in them now, he pulls them to himself. He takes in a deep breath, catching hints of Kurt's musky scent. He closes his eyes and pictures Kurt smiling at him, his three finger hand cradling his face with a gentleness that doesn't seem possible.

He opens his eyes and let's them adjust to the darkness of the room. His eyes scan the room, making out the shape of the bed, bookcases, nightstand and dresser. They stop at the desk. He stands up, still holding on to Kurt's blanket and takes a few steps closer. Right where he left them is the pile of items that the Professor gave him.

He wraps Kurt's blanket around himself, wanting to feel the warmth around him as well as not to surrender Kurt's scent. Then he carefully picks up the items and walks over to the balcony. He sits down and sets the items on the floor in front of him. He grabs the curtain's edge and slowly pulls it back, until there is only a sliver of light entering the room.

With the small amount of light, he looks at the items again. They were the first gifts anyone gave him in a long time. He opens the sketch pad and glides his fingers over the rough paper. He could tell it is very high quality paper from the touch. He sets it aside and opens the black pencils. He shifts slightly, leaning back against the curtain and closed glass door to the balcony. Pulling up one knee, he positions the sketch pad against it. Then he pulls out on of the new pencils, studying it before he licks the pointed tip and starts to sketch.

It has been such a long time since he has sketched anything. He tried it once while he was living with those other two. Not only did they catch him sketching when he was not allowed to do anything besides train or clean, but they made him burn it, fetch it and put out the flames with his bare hands, then burn it again. He stops and rubs his hands, feeling the phantom burns that miraculously healed without leaving any scars. One of the very few times that had happened. But once he puts the pencil back to the paper, his hand take over. It moves like he has been drawing since he was born. He has no doubt that if he put the pencil in between his toes and got into position, he could draw that way too.

Time passes unnoticed as he works on this sketch. The image is a portrait like style, most of it darkened by shadows. But the fanged smile stands out clearly as does the sharp pointed ear. Todd is smiling as he works on the tiny details, shading the fur on the neck, lightly coloring around the eyes and adding a few loose strands of hair as if a breeze is blowing through the hair. Finally he puts the pencil down next to a pile of three other ones that need to be sharpened.

He gazes down at the drawing, as if willing it to come to life. His fingers rub the penciled hair, wondering if the hair would be silky or velvety like his fur. He hears something and tears his eyes away from the sketch of his boyfriend and peeks outside. Down below he could see the younger mutants talking and drinking sodas as the sun begins to set. The noise that drawled his attention was a boom box blaring some old summer rock n roll. Some of the kids, girls mostly got up, and begin to dance.

Would Kurt be open to doing that sometime? Just sit on the grass and drink pop while watching the world go on around them? To be allowed to simply enjoy life? It would be nice, Todd thinks, to spend a day outside. From sun up to sun down. He wasn't much of an outdoors person before, not a fresh air and sunshine kind of guy back then. But when you are denied those things, they become like forbidden fruit. They become sweeter and once you have a bite, you want more. And Todd would love nothing more than more sunshine and fresh air.

Feeling strange about watching the younger mutants, he turns away and looks at the leather journal. The Professor had told him it was to record his thoughts. Something he never really thought of doing. He just wasn't a diary keeping kinda person. He wasn't afraid his fellow Brotherhood members would read it, it just seemed silly. They made up his life for the most part.

But again,time changed things. The idea of expressing his thoughts, even if only in paper, is very tempting. It was still very hard to share his thoughts, even with Kurt. It wasn't that he didn't trust the fuzzy gecko, it was just a hard wall to break through. After years of putting it up, it wasn't going to come down very easily. But he tries. Sometimes the words seem to be caught in his throat. Kurt always seems to be happy with the ones that he is able to get out past his lips.

Opening the journal, his thumb leafs through the blank lined pages. He listens to the crisp sounds of the paper. He flips back to the first page. His eyes slide away from the opened journal to the package of pens waiting to be used. Yes, it is very tempting. But he can't seem to reach his hand over to open it.

"Don't be wasting time with such foolishness there mate," Pyro's voice returns, in an annoying giddy tone. "Who gives a hoot about your thoughts anyway?"

Todd lowers his head, ignoring the mild pain forming. It was right, he thinks. Who would care about his thoughts?

"I do," a familiar German accented voice pips up.

Todd suddenly looks up, looking around the darken room.

"Kurt? Elf?" He calls out.

There isn't a reply for Todd realizes there is no one else in the room. He pulls the blanket around him a little tighter, glances at the sketch he made before closing his eyes.

"Kurt?" He whispers.

As he breathes in, he could the blue furred arms wrap around him from behind. A chin rests on his right shoulder.

"I'm here. I'll always be here," Kurt whispers in his thoughts.

"Did you really mean it? That you care about my thoughts?" Todd asks him.

"Yes. And I'm sure the real me does too. That's why you should write them down. Write everything you can't tell me right now," Kurt's voice encourages.

Todd opens his eyes and while still feeling the phantom Kurt holding him, he grabs the package of pens and opens it. It takes him a few minutes to think of how to start. Then he writes, 'Dear Kurt'.

It is very late when the X-jet returns. After several minutes, the bedroom door opens, spilling light from the hallway into the room. Todd is laying on the floor where he had spent a large part of the day. His back is facing the doorway.

"He's in here. Looks to be asleep. Should I wake him?" Storm asks as she looks over the sleeping form.

"No. Let him get some sleep. Telling him tonight won't do any good. Doubt it will be any better in the morning but it can wait," Logan replies.

"I don't know who I feel for most. Kurt being taken captive or for him," Storm mutters as she closes the door.

The click of the door closing sounds like an explosion to Todd. His eyes fill with tears as he sits up and looks at the sketch again.

"Kurt..."


	12. Chapter 12

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 12

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning it was clear that Todd had not gotten any sleep. The dark circles under his eyes that were fading were present again. His eyes were red from irritation. He kept his head low as they told him what happened. They were fighting Wolverine's old pal, Sabertooth. Kurt had jumped in to save Kitty who had gotten knocked out due to some unseen debris that fell from a local building. Sabertooth had tossed him into the same building's wall, succeeding in knocking him out.

That's when things became strange. But Todd didn't find the situation becoming stranger, instead it made his heart race. Sabertooth, who would usually continue going after the other X-men instead went back after Kitty who was still unconscious. The others of course ran to her aid. Only Jean and Storm saw what happened to Kurt and it was too late for them to be able to do anything. Sheets of metal tore out of the sides of a semi truck and imbedded themselves into the concrete ground around Kurt's body. They then twisted and bend until the encased him completely. Then the makeshift metal sphere holding the X-man lifted from the ground and flew off. Storm had tried to follow it but she had to suddenly dodge several metal spear like objects that distracted her long enough to lose sight of the sphere.

The X-men knew who had taken their comrade, same as Todd. Only one mutant could be responsible. Magneto. It was what they didn't know that worries Todd. The reason Magneto took him. It was time for him to tell the Professor about Magneto's other little projects.

Meanwhile, Kurt wakes up in a heavy daze. It seems to take all his strength to open his eyes. When he does, he thinks he is looking at a mirror. All he could make out is a blue figure. He starts to wonder why his limbs feel so heavy when the blue figure speaks.

"Hello son," the figure greets quietly.

He tenses and tries to focus his eyes. His mind is asking only one question over and over. 'Why is she here?'

"Surprised to see me? It has been a long time. Do you even remember when the last time we saw each other was?" She asks. She gently strokes his arm which is held in place against the wall by thin metal beams. These crude metal restraints are also on his legs, waist, neck, and tail.

"How could I forget. It was after the battle with Apocalypse,"Kurt answers.

"Yes. And you remember how you turned your back on me? How you just walked away? I tried to explain things to you. You and Rogue," she reminds him.

"Why am I here? What do you want?" He asks as he tries to focus his vision. He hopes that once he can do this, maybe he can teleport out of this situation. He just needs to focus.

Mystique doesn't answer. Instead she moves closer to him. He feels something prick his arm. He hisses from the burning sting. A surprisingly gentle hand cups the side of his face.

"If only you weren't an X..." Is all he hears her mutter before everything goes black.

Mystique watches her son's body go limp.

"How touching," A voice comments from the shadows.

Mystique tenses for a moment before turning around to glare at the hidden man.

"You swore you would never use him like this again," Mystique hisses.

"No Mystique, I swore I would never alter his x-gene and I have not. Nor do I plan to. I am merely coping it," Magneto replies.

"How can I trust you after everything you've done to me?" She asks bitterly.

"It seems you are losing your focus Mystique. Or is it that you care more for this boy than you do for your blind friend? If that's the case then I will just..." He leaves the suggestion hanging, enjoying the brief look of panic on the shapeshifter's face.

"No! I mean, no I do not. He's no son of mine. He's nothing more than a hindrance to our...to your dream of the future," she states.

"Be sure you don't forget that Mystique. Don't ever forget that," Magneto warns.

Mystique nods as she takes one last look at her son before walking out of the room.

Back at the institute, Todd is sitting in the Professor's office. He could feel the heat of the glares from the other X-men who had been called in after he told the Professor what he knew.

"So wait Professor, you mean to tell us that Magneto is kidnapping mutants to copy their X-gene? For what?" Todd hears Summers ask.

"That we don't know. We do know that he done similar experimentation in the past. I had hope he had abandoned such practices long ago," the Professor replies.

"What I like to know is why this information wasn't shared with us before?" Logan questions, leaving Todd with no doubt that he is expected to answer this.

"I...I thought they were rumors. Threats," Todd replies quietly.

He flinches when he see's the cigar smoking mutant move closer to him.

"What do you mean threats?" Logan asks.

Todd sighs before answering. "Lockdown and Pyro told me that if I screwed up during the battle where we were suppose to distract you, then I would be shipped to the labs. They promised terrible things would happen," Todd replies.

"And now Kurt is going through those terrible things," Jean comments. She ignores the strange looks from her teammates. She is struggling to keep her anger in check for she hears the threats that were made to Todd from his thoughts.

"What makes you sure they are no longer just rumors?" Rogue asks.

"There have been reports of other confirmed mutants that have gone missing. Some who have returned...they speak of being experimented on," the Professor answers.

Todd looks up, his eyes meeting the Professor's.

"I have heard these stories circulating for some time now. But those whom I have spoken with couldn't tell me who or for what reason. Their minds have been altered. Someone tried to make a feeble attempt to wipe away their memories. Mr. Tolansky has just provided us with the missing pieces of this situation. Now we can act," the Professor states, not breaking eye contact with Todd.

'There is something you wish to ask," the Professor asks mentally.

Todd swallows nervously, and nods his head.

'You want to assist in rescuing Kurt, is that right?' The Professor's voice asks within his thoughts.

'Yes,' Todd answers back in his mind.

The Professor seems to study him for a moment before nodding his head.

"Everyone, suit up. Thanks to Mr. Tolansky's information and Cerebro, I believe I have managed to pin point the location of Magneto's secrete lab. Since Mr. Tolansky provided this information willingly, and has certain knowledge of how Magneto operates, he will be assisting you on this mission," Professor Xavier finishes.

The room is silent for a moment. Todd jumps when a hand rests on his shoulder. Slowly he looks up to the owner.

"Come on Hopper. I think we got a spare uniform somewhere that will fit you," Logan tells him.

Todd stands up and glances around the room before following the grizzly X-man out of the office. He notes the surprised expression on the others faces. Logan leads him to a hidden elevator that is under the main stairway. Todd obediently follows him inside and tries to calm himself as he feels the elevator lower. Not an easy task knowing he is in a small space with a man who doesn't need a razor to shave.

"Thank you," Todd whispers, feeling he should say something.

"Eh? Don't mention it. If I hadn't said anything, the others would have tried to argue with Charles. They might be doing so now but not with half the effort they would have had I said nothing. Besides, you should get a chance to prove yourself," Logan tells him before stepping out of the elevator once the door opens.

Todd doesn't reply but thinks about what Logan had just told him. He wonders just who he has to prove himself to.

Kurt wakes to a stinging pain on the right side of his face. With the pain comes a clearing of his mind. He glares at the familiar face before him.

"About time you waked up," an annoyed voice whispers.

"And what do you want?" Kurt challenges, but he notices how rough his voice sounds, like he is talking with a mouth full of cotton.

"Look X-man, I don't need any attitude from you right now, okay? I'm not suppose to even be here. I just want to ask about Toad," the voice states.

"And what do you care?" Kurt asks.

He feels the ground rumble slightly.

"Don't mess with me Nightcrawler," the man warns.

"You don't scare me Avalanche," Kurt replies.

Lance glares at the restrained blue mutant. He is sorely tempted to knock him back out but he reminds himself why he's here.

"Let's save the macho good guy vs bad guy stuff for another time. I just want to ask about Toad. They say you captured him during the fight. Is that true?" Lance asks.

Kurt blinks, surprised at hearing the desperation in the fellow mutant's voice. "Yes, it's true. He's with us," Kurt answers. He watches Lance's expressions carefully.

"And how is he?" Lance continues.

"Why are you asking me these questions?" Kurt asks instead of answering.

"I just need to know," Lance replies, his temper sharpening his words.

"I know what you told him at the warehouse Avalanche," Kurt tells him. Kurt watches as the color drains from the Brotherhood member's face. "How dare you ask him to trust you! Do you know what he went through? What his trust in you cost him?"

"It wasn't suppose to be like this. A quick errand is what Pietro promised," Lance mutters.

"Don't even. You knew from the beginning who you were going to work for. You knew what he was like," Kurt hisses as he tries to ignore the fuzziness that is trying to cloud his mind.

"I swear it wasn't suppose to end up this way! But before I could do anything, it was too late," Lance tries to explain.

"You should have never gone to that warehouse. Or at least you should never have brought him there," Kurt spits back.

"You...you're right. And if I could go back and change things, I would. I would have decked Pietro the moment he brought it up. But I can't undo things. I know what happened to him is my fault and my fault alone. So please, tell me what I did to him," Lance begs.

Kurt and Lance look at each other, their eyes locked. Kurt has noticed the physical changes of the once teenaged mutant that could bring down buildings with his power. But it's the age in Lance's eyes that he notices the most. Eyes that should belong to a forty something year old man at the youngest, are peering into his own glowing yellow eyes.

"It wasn't your fault, as much as I want to blame you, I can't. The ones who are responsible are Pyro and Lockdown," Kurt tells Lance.

"Tell me everything you know. Please, don't try to spare me any of the details," Lance requests.

With a sigh, Kurt tells Lance everything from what he knows for sure to his suspicions as to what happened to Todd during these past five years. When Kurt finishes, he is surprised to find the ground is still. The way Lance is pacing, his fists closing and opening, and the hisses of anger made it clear how enraged the ground shaking mutant was. Kurt can't help but gasp when Lance suddenly stops and looks directly at Kurt.

"I promise that I'll make those bastards pay for what they've done to him," Lance swears.

"That won't help Todd," Kurt replies, more automatically than anything. He secretly hopes that Lance will carry out his promise.

"No. But I know you can," Lance replies.

Kurt's eyes widen.

"I'm not dumb or blind blue boy. I saw how he used to look at you. How he would seek you out during our little confrontations. Even his ridiculous attempts at flirting with Wanda didn't hide that. And judging how mad you were a little bit ago and the pain in your voice when you told me what you knew just now, well, I'm guessing you like him too," Lance whispers.

"And if I do?" Kurt asks.

"Look, I lost the right to say anything concerning his love life. Heck, I lost the right to say anything even concerning him. Maybe I never had it. Anyway, thanks for telling me," Lance mutters as he starts to walk away.

"Lance, wait!" Kurt calls out.

"Don't worry. Your team will come for you. When they do, I will make sure they get you out of here without any problems. Then I'm going to make sure this place disappears. But I have two favors to ask. One, give this to Kitty," Lance says as he walks back over to Kurt. He pulls out a envelope and slides it underneath Kurt's black uniform. "The other is to take care of Todd."

Kurt does his best to study the Brotherhood mutant standing in front of him. He nods weakly.

"Now, they think I'm in here beating you to a pulp. You know that's what they have to find when I leave," Lance tells Kurt quietly.

"Give me your best shot," Kurt replies as he tries to brace himself for the hits.

He only feels a moment of pain before falling into darkness. He thinks he hears a faint apology being whispered but it too fades.

After several blows, Lance leaves the blue mutants and walks into the poorly set up rec room. He scans over the other mutants, searching for his comrade. He spots Blob sitting in a broken couch, eating a burger. When their eyes meet, Lance nods. Fred nods back and stuffs the burger in his mouth before getting up and leaving the room. Lance takes a few steps before stopping when he spots Pyro and Lockdown sitting at a card table with a few other mutants in a game of Poker. Pyro notices his gaze and waves. It takes every bit of restrain to raise his hand and return the wave. He moves on to talk to Fred, and tell him what his plan is.

Hours away, Todd is following the others onto the X-jet. He sits down in the nearest seat and buckles himself in. He keeps his eyes on the ground as the others take their seats. Within a few minutes, the jet's engine roars to life. He grips the belts tightly as they lift off.

"You okay?" Rogue asks.

Todd nods, glancing at the female X-men sitting next to him.

"It'll be okay. Kurt will be okay," She tries to assure him.

"And if he's not?" Todd asks.

"He will be," she states firmly.

She notices Todd beginning to rub the black uniform's material on his knees. The uniform Todd is wearing is the similar black uniforms they all are wearing but with knee pads like Kurt's and fingerless gloves like hers. He has a single grey X-man symbol on his left shoulder, one that was borrowed from the training uniforms of the younger members. Strangely, Rogue can't help but think that the uniform doesn't look half bad on him. Better than the green one he used to wear.

"He'll be happy to see you," Rogue adds.

"Not when he finds out that I knew about this. He won't forgive me," Todd mutters unhappily.

"I think he will surprise you," Rogue replies.

"Then again, who can blame him if he doesn't," Bobby, who is sitting in front of them comments.

Rogue leans forward and smacks him in the back of his head.

"Ignore him," Rogue tells Todd.

"Hey! Part of this is his fault you know. Who knows what else he's hiding from us," Bobby replies as he rubs the back of his head.

"That's enough Bobby," Scott calls back.

"Hey, you said the same thing a few minutes ago!"

Todd turns his head away and closes his eyes.

"See what you get mate? Should have stayed with us," Pyro's voice whispers.

"Let's face it Toady, you might have become a lab rat but better you than your little blue boyfriend, right?" Lockdown asks.

Todd groans and rubs his forehead.

"Focus Todd. Kurt needs you," a strange female voice tells him in his head.

He looks around and finds Jean looking back over at him. She nods, confirming that it was her who spoke to him in his mind. He nods back meekly. He turns his gaze back to his feet and mentally prays that they find Kurt quickly and if possible, unharmed.

A few hours later, as the X-jet is nearing the hidden lab where Kurt is being held, Kurt is coming to again. He moans from the bruising pain of Lance's earlier punches. He hears a strange scraping sound and opens his eyes to find the source.

He spots a white dressed woman with her red hair in a bun, pushing a cart towards him. The light from the old iridescent lights above them, reflect off the metal objects on the tray. He tries to focus his eyes to see what was on the tray but when he makes out a syringe, he regrets the effort. He hears hurried steps and just as he shifts his head, a man in similar white attire joins the woman.

"Are we ready to begin?" The man asks.

"Yes sir. It just regained consciousness. Should I sedate it?" The woman asks.

"No need. The Master wants this done as soon as possible. We don't have time to waste. Let's start with the blood samples then move on to the tissue samples. It is an interesting specimen," the man comments as he moves closer to Kurt, examining his face.

The woman sets up several vials for the blood sample then ties a rubber rope around Kurt's upper arm.

"We're ready sir," the woman reports.

"Very good. Remind me to take a sample from that tail before we're done," the man requests.

Kurt feels a chill go up his spine when the man makes this request just before he feels the prick that will take his blood. His deepest fear is about to become a reality he realizes.


	13. Chapter 13

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 13

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few moments later, Kurt opens his eyes when he hears the sound of shattering glass. The man and woman both look at the shattered phial that was filled with his blood.

"I'm sorry sir. It slipped," the woman apologies.

"No matter. We can replace..." The man starts to dismiss when the tray begins to rattle as the ground beneath them rumbles. "What is going on!"

More phials fall off the tray, some filled, some not, littering the floor with glass. The woman scrambles to save the few precious phials but stumbles due to the unsteady ground and ends up falling onto the tray, knocking it over. The man turns and looks at her for a moment before looking up at the ceiling when a loud siren goes off.

"We're under attack. Give me a cotton swap and tape. If it bleeds out, we might as well be dead," the man tells the woman who scrambles to her feet while trying to avoid the shattered glass.

She passes him the items and he pulls out the needle. Kurt watches as the woman leaves the man behind, sticking to the walls for support.

"This has never happened before," Kurt hears the man mutter before quickly applying the tape and looks Kurt over to make sure he is secured before following where the woman had taken off.

The ground continues to shakes and Kurt can hear the muffling sounds of shouting and explosions.

"Thank God," Kurt mutters.

"Don't go thanking him just yet," a large man standing in the shadows comments.

Meanwhile, Todd is following Wolverine and Iceman as they make their way into the building. Another group of mutants approach them but Bobby freezes them, turning them into living statues.

"Bobby, make sure no one comes up from behind!" Wolverine orders as he and Todd make their way past the frozen group.

They come find two different hallways, one on the right and one on the left.

"You take that one, I'll take the other. Look for a security room. That will tell us where Kurt is. And keep an ear on your communicator," Wolverine instructs Todd, pointing to the grey X-badge.

Todd nods and starts to hop down the hallway. He examines each room briefly, trying the various locked doors. He tries not to think of what happens in these various rooms filled with various tools, computers, and equipment. The further he goes, he finds larger rooms that resemble horror movie fashioned lab rooms. He struggles to keep his panic under control.  
Where is the fuzzy elf?

"Toad!" Wolverine's gruff voice calls out, making Todd stop instantly.

"Sir?" Todd replies when he touches his badge.

"Turn right in to the next room, pass through it and enter that hall. Let me know once you have done this," Wolverine instructs.

Todd follows these instructions as quickly as he can, his thoughts focused only on seeing the blue furry mutant again.

"I'm here," Todd reports.

"Follow the hallway to your left. The elf will be at the end of the hall. See if he's conscious and keep an eye out for company. I'm on my way," Wolverine informs him.

Todd hops down the hallway, wondering if Kurt somehow escaped if he's at the end of the hallway. When he finally see's the X-man pinned against the wall, his heart drops. He steps closer, examining the swollen lip, the medical tape and rubber rope on his exposed arm where someone tore away the sleeve.

"Fuzzy?" Todd calls out weakly.

"Todd?" Kurt replies with a moan.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here," Todd replies.

Kurt slowly opens his eyes and looks at Todd, a smile starting to form on his swollen mouth. But it stops suddenly and Kurt's eyes widen.

"Todd! Watch out!" Kurt shouts.

Todd starts to turn around and out of the corner of his eye, he seems them. Chains made of shadows lunge out towards him and before he could make any feeble attempt to hop away, they wrap around him and pull him backwards, slamming his body against the wall. He starts to cry out in pain when a chain wraps around his throat and strangles the cry.

"Hello Toady. It's so nice to see you again," a familiar voice greets him from the shadows in the corner.

Todd feels himself trembling in fear as he watches Lockdown approach him.

"Well, look at you. Wearing an X-man uniform and everything," Lockdown comments, touching the X-badge on his shoulder. He grabs it, ripping it off the uniform and dropping it on the flow before stomping on it. "You still look pathetic."

"Leave him alone!" Kurt shouts out.

"Oh don't worry. Toady here and I are very close. Besides, why do you care?" Lockdown questions as he turns to look back at Kurt.

Lockdown raises his eyebrows at the rage filled expression in Kurt's eyes. He glances back at Toad and notices the panicked expression. Could it be?, he wonders. He walks toward the demon looking mutant, clenching his fist that he knows Toad can see.

"Stop! Don't you dare hurt him!" Todd shouts out.

Lockdown stops and begins laughing.

"Well I'll be! Toady, you and this blue freak? Really?" Lockdown asks before walking back over to Todd.

"Don't call him that!" Todd hisses out angrily before the chain tightens around his throat painfully.

"Toady, Toady, Toady. Look what's happened to you. Not only are you screwing that," Lockdown gestures towards Kurt, "but you have forgotten your training. Do you ever have the right to speak to me that way?"

Todd bites his lip when Lockdown grabs a fistful of his hair and yanks his head up.

"Answer me Toady. Do...you...have the right...to talk to me like that?" Lockdown repeats.

"N-no," Todd answers quietly.

Lockdown pulls his hair even more.

"Louder. I want your boyfriend to hear you," Lockdown orders.

"No!" Todd shouts, feeling his eyes burn from both the physical pain and the shame that is filling him as he follows Lockdown's instructions.

"Todd..." He hears Kurt say his name.

"Your boy toy is saying your name, how sweet. Tell me Toady, have you and this freak done the nasty yet?" Lockdown questions.

"N-no," Todd answers, lowering his eyes.

"Is that so? Maybe you know he can't measure up to me. You have told him about us, didn't you?" Lockdown asks, smiling madly.

Tears spill from Todd's eyes as he shakes his head.

"That's not being very honest Toady. Go ahead and tell him," Lockdown tells him.

Todd shakes his head despite the chain around his throat, feeling it rub painfully against his skin. Lockdown gives him a hard slap.

"I said tell him!" Lockdown shouts into Todd's ear.

Todd again shakes his head. He feels the warmth breath of the other man as he sighs.

"Oh Toady. You really have forgotten your training. I'm very disappointed," Lockdown comments as he walks back over to Kurt. "Now I have to teach you again all over. Or maybe you just need a reminder."

"Wait! Please!" Todd cries out in panic as Lockdown runs his fingers up Kurt's exposed arm.

Kurt glares at the man, meeting his gaze evenly. The man doesn't seemed phased and continues smiling when he grabs one of Kurt's three fingers. With a violent yank, Kurt cries out in pain as the finger is broken.

"No!" Todd shouts before breaking down in sobs.

"You know, standing this close I can see how you can be attracted to this freak, Toady. Maybe I should get a taste," Lockdown comments.

Kurt's stomach turns at the suggestion. He snarls at the man, knowing he's issuing a challenge.

"We...we spent nights together," Todd admits loudly, drawing the man's attention.

"Finally. Go on Toady, tell him how we spent those nights. Tell him what I took from you," Lockdown orders.

"My...my virginity. You took my virginity. We...we had sex," Todd says, keeping his eyes focused as best he could on the ground.

"And you liked it, didn't you?" Lockdown asks, walking back over to Todd. "In fact, you loved it."

"N-no. That's not true!" Todd replies.

"Who do you think you're talking to Toady? I remember your moans. I remember your pleas for more. I remember how your face looked when you finished," Lockdown tells Todd.

With each sentence, Todd feels the chains becoming painfully tighter. He begins to gasp for breath.

"I missed you Toady. And I know you missed me too," Lockdown mutters as he runs a hand down Todd's body, moving it slowly towards his crotch. "I'm going to make sure you can't ever get away again. And then I'm going to retrain you. And finally, I'm going to make you beg me to help you forget that blue furred freak behind us."

"Get away from Todd!" A loud thunderous voice orders.

Lockdown, caught off guard, turns to the source. He barely acknowledges the large mutant before him before the huge bulk slams into his body, driving him backwards. Lockdown feels a moment of pain as his body is forced through the wall and landed on my several hundred pounds of flesh before passing out.

Todd watches stunned for a moment before the chains dissipates, and he drops to the floor. Wheezing and coughing as his lungs adapt to getting unrestricted oxygen once again, he looks up and watches Fred Dukes, better known as the Blob, stand up. Blob steps back and looks at Todd with a small smile before turning to Kurt. With little effort, Blob rips away the metal that restrains Kurt to the wall. He keeps Kurt from falling on the shattered glass and when he tears away the last of the metal, he shifts drugged Kurt under his arm.

"Can you still hop Todd?" Fred asks.

Todd nods and looks at Kurt who seems a bit uncomfortable. Fred takes a few steps away from the glass before setting Kurt down on the ground.

"You two follow me. I am going to make a straight path out of here," Fred informs them both.

Todd and Kurt both nod and watch as the large mutant moves forward, each step being quicker than the last one. Todd wraps an arm around Kurt's waist at the same time of taking Kurt's exposed arm and placing it around his shoulder's. They hear a large crash and both look up to find a massive hole in the wall. Slowly, both make their way through the series of freshly made holes being left by Blob.

When they pass through the final one, both stop to look around for a moment. They saw the signs of battle with mutant powers but now everything was quiet. They saw Rogue toss a random mutant into a large truck filled with other mutants that were unconscious. Blob was no where to be seen. They take a few more steps before someone notices them.

"See you found him kid," Wolverine comments, as he emerges from the hole they just came out of.

Both turn and take in the appearance of the older man. His mask was gone and his uniform was shredded in several places. The glare discouraged any questions they might have.

"Get on the jet. We're done here," Wolverine orders.

Todd nods and helps Kurt towards the X-jet. Rogue notices them and hurries over. Carefully, so there is no skin contact, Rogue takes Kurt's other arm and places it around her shoulders and helps Todd walk him to the jet. She offers Todd a kind smile when they buckle him in. She notices that Todd doesn't return the smile.


	14. Chapter 14

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 14

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later, Kurt is sitting on his balcony railing, looking out but not really seeing anything. Instead he is letting his thoughts wander. He's been doing this more and more lately. Not surprisingly, his thoughts are of Todd Tolansky.

Since the rescue, Todd hasn't spoken a word. Or left his room except late at night or early morning for his bathroom needs. He also no longer makes eye contact with anyone much less Kurt. And he stopped hopping again. He had regressed. That was the term Hank had used after examining him.

Kurt had hoped it would be a temporary set back. That he would hop back. But as time passes, Kurt's fear is growing. Maybe he won't come back this time. Maybe he will never hear Todd's voice again. Kurt frowns, his tail whipping about angrily. It isn't fair. Todd was doing so well!

Kurt knows the cause of Todd's current state. It was that mutant. Lockdown. Kurt raises his hand with the broken finger that is thickly bandaged. It will heal within a few weeks. How long will it take Todd to heal yet again? Then Kurt remembers the bruises. Bruises that ring around Todd's neck from those accursed chains. He remembers how he asked if those could be the cause of Todd's muteness. Hank told him that the damage is superficial. That they will heal after a week or so. They were not to blame for Todd's current condition.

Kurt feels his chest tighten and the burning of the tears that start to form. His tail goes limp, dangling off the railing. He takes a deep breath. This is something else he has been doing a lot of but he's hiding it from the others. Easy to do when he is in fact hiding from them. The first day where he tried to carry on like normal, he felt like he was being hammered with questions. 'How is Todd? How are you? Has he spoken yet? Any changes?' He couldn't take another day like that so he stays in his room.

Sometimes he teleports to Todd's room. He would watch his lover sit in the corner of the room, hugging his knees. His face always hidden. Kurt tries to get Todd to speak to him. At least, at first he tries. But after several questions go unanswered, Kurt joins Todd in silence. He listens to the faint sounds of the fellow mutant's breathing. And when he feels the urge to rush to Todd's side, to grab the silent man and either shake him or hold him tightly, that is when he returns to his room.

So far, no one has tried to bother him. And he doubts anyone else has visited Todd. They have been left alone these last few days. A knock on his door breaks this record. He doesn't bother to turn and look when he hears his bedroom door open.

"Kurt?" Rogue calls into the seemingly empty room.

"Here," Kurt replies, still not looking back.

Rogue walks over to his side and after giving him a look over, also looks out to the property.

Kurt hopes that she doesn't ask the same line of questions that he has been doing his best to avoid.

"Ah've been worried about you. So are the others," Rogue tells him.

'Good ol Rogue.' Kurt thinks.

"Sorry," he replies.

"You should at least eat with us. That way everyone will quit asking me if you're still alive," Rogue comments.

Kurt nods, understanding that she isn't saying this out of annoyance but concern.

"Ah visited Toad...Todd too. He isn't looking too good."

"He's not. He's like he was before," Kurt shares, folding his arms on top of his knees. His tail curls around his body.

"Yeah, that's what ah thought too. Ah think....ah think he needs you," Rogue shares.

"Needs me? Rogue, I've visited him since we've gotten back. I've tried getting him to talk to me. But still, he won't say a word to me. I'm...I'm afraid he's...he's...,"Kurt is unable to finish the thought.

"Maybe that's the problem," Rogue replies.

Kurt finally looks over to his adopted sister.

"Listen Kurt. You have been trying to get him to talk right? Maybe that's not what he needs. Maybe he needs to hear you talk to him. Honestly talk to him. Not with hoping he will respond to what you say but needing him to hear you," Rogue explains.

"Needing him to hear me?" Kurt repeats, clearly confused.

"Yes Kurt. Todd has always been an insecure little creep. Sure he played it off like nothing matters but trust me, it did. Whatever happened to the two of you at that lab, well it obviously did a number on him. He's terrified," Rogue continues.

"I know. And I want to help him but I can't figure out how," Kurt shouts in frustration.

"What do you think he's so terrified of Kurt?" Rogue asks.

"It's that man. Lockdown. He did things to Todd," Kurt answers, his rage making him shake for a moment.

"That may be part of it. But not all of it," Rogue replies.

"What else could it be?" Kurt asks, wondering if Rogue somehow has some hidden knowledge concerning this. Maybe she touched him and knows his thoughts?

"You," Rogue states.

"How can he be afraid of me? I didn't do anything to him Rogue! I would never do anything to him! I love him for God sakes!" Kurt shouts at her.

"And when is the last time you told him that? Has it been since he rescued you?" Rogue questions, looking Kurt dead in the eye.

"No but..." Kurt starts to reply.

"And that's what ah believe he's truly terrified of Kurt. That some how, maybe something that was done or said back at that lab, has changed your feelings for him. That you no longer love him. That's what Ah meant when Ah said he needs to listen to you. Ah think he needs you to reassure him that you still feel the same," Rogue explains.

She sighs with relief when she see's the glimmer of understanding in his eyes. Boys can be so dense sometimes. And it doesn't get any better when they grow up.

"Rogue...do you think it could really be..." Kurt asks fearfully.

"What do you have to lose? Go and see him Kurt," Rogue encourages him.

She turns back to the view but see's him nod out of the corner of her eye. With a Bamf, the elf is gone.

"Good luck elf," Rogue wishes before leaving the bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

Wishing to Forget

Chapter 15

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

Warning: This is a tissue chapter...be ready!

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

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Kurt finds himself on Todd's unused bed. There in the corner is Todd, hugging his knees and his face hidden again. With a deep breath, Kurt moves off the bed and sits down in front of Todd. It takes him a few minutes to figure out where to start. What Rogue had told him, comes to mind.

"Todd, I'm sorry. I have only been coming here to try to get you to talk to me. And when you didn't I'd leave. I'm so sorry for doing that. I realize how that looks now," he tells Todd, looking at the wooden floor.

"I'm not going to be doing that anymore. And I'm not here to get you to talk. All I ask is that you listen to me. The Professor told me that you were the one that gave them the information that allowed them to locate me," Kurt shares.

He hears Todd take a deep breath as he tenses. The first reaction Kurt has seen in these last few days.

"Thank you Todd. For telling him. It couldn't have been easy. Nor was asking to help rescue me. Those were very brave deeds. Everything you did for me, means more to me than you could possibly know. It might sound strange but while I was there, I was worried about you. If you got any sleep, if you ate, or if you were simply okay. Or if you were as afraid as I was," Kurt continues, now rubbing the wrapped finger.

"Lance had a talk with me. He wanted to know how you were doing. He is sorry for what happened to you. He places all the blame on himself. And he asked me to take care of you. Seems he suspected things between us even back then. Anyway, I thought his request was rather silly. Of course I'll take care of you. I love you. You do know that, don't you? What Lockdown said, what he made you say, doesn't matter to me. It doesn't change anything," Kurt states these last few words firmly.

"Don't lie!" Todd suddenly shouts.

Kurt nearly jumps out of his skin from Todd's sudden outburst. Looking up, his lips frown. Todd's face is still hidden behind his legs but his body shakes from violent sobbing. These past few days, Kurt wanted some sort of a reaction from Todd. But not this.

"I'm not lying to you," Kurt swears.

"Yes you are. I'm not stupid. And neither are you," Todd replies, his voice sounding distant.

"What am I supposedly lying about?" Kurt asks.

It takes Todd several minutes before he answers. His breathing evens out but Kurt could tell Todd is still crying.

"What happened...it changes everything. Had I told the Professor what I knew of Magneto and the labs from the beginning, they could have saved you sooner. All of you would have been prepared, expecting it. But I stayed quiet. I stayed quiet and you..." Todd makes a heart felt moan instead of finishing the sentence.

"Todd, there is no way you could have known what was going to happen to me. You didn't know Magneto would target me, correct?" Kurt asks quietly.

"I...I didn't know that part. But I knew about the lab. I knew! They told me what goes on there. They told me," Todd answers.

"But still, even though you were told about it, there is still no way for you to know if that information would have been useful. This is not your fault Todd," Kurt tells him firmly, hoping that Todd will believe him.

Todd is silent for several minutes and just when Kurt thinks he got through to him, Todd again speaks.

"Even if that is true, things are still different. I'm different," Todd tells Kurt, his voice barely above a whisper.

"How so? Please tell me Todd," Kurt pleas, feeling deflated. He's honestly afraid of the answer but knows that if he doesn't ask, he might lose the amphibian mutant again.

"You saw the real me back there Kurt. The real me. Trembling in fear, like I am now. Weak. Pathetic. And...and a filthy disgusting...wh-whore," Todd answers before sobbing again.

Kurt watches, stunned, as Todd covers his ears, letting his hair cover his face to hide his tears. Each moan, each whimper pulls at Kurt's heart. Tears form in his own eyes. No longer able to stand it, Kurt pushes himself forward and wraps his arms around Todd.

Todd stiffens at the touch, frozen for just a moment. Then with all his strength, he pushes Kurt off of him.

"Don't touch me!" Todd screams.

Without realizing it, Todd's hair falls away from his face, allowing Kurt to finally see his face. This time it's Kurt who moans, not from the rejection of his touch but from the amount of pain he see's in Todd's eyes.

"I'm sorry Todd. I'm so sorry," Kurt whispers, his own tears finally spilling.

"For what?" Todd asks, confused by Kurt's apology.

"I didn't rescue you after you disappeared. I should have. Then you wouldn't be in so much pain right now. You wouldn't be so afraid. And back at the lab, I failed again," Kurt replies.

"You failed? I would have been sent to the lab after that battle, Kurt. And if that happened...I wouldn't be alive right now. You did save me. Even though you now know I am not worth saving," Todd tells him, lowering his head once again.

"Todd, please...don't say that," Kurt begs.

"It's true. I know that even now you are trying to save me. But I'm not worth it. You saw the real me. I'm a coward. Beat me and I give up. I'll do anything I'm told. I'll...I'll even let them use my body for pleasure," Todd whispers, turning away from Kurt in shame.

"Todd, that's not true," Kurt argues.

"It is! It is. The first night, the first night he came into the room and got in bed with me, he didn't use his powers on me. I wasn't restrained at all! He told me to just lie still or he was going to hurt me. Hurt me in ways that I would wish I was dead. And because I am such a coward...I did as I was told. I could have fought. One kick would have done it. But I was too afraid. I let it happen. I let it happen again and again and again," Todd tells Kurt.

"He threatened you. And he has hurt you before this. You knew he would carry out that threat. He could have killed you. You did what you had to to survive," Kurt points out.

"It doesn't change the fact that I...I'm dirty. A filthy coward," Todd replies sadly.

"Todd...," Kurt whispers the young man's name as he slowly moves closer. "I need you to listen to me. What that sick bastard did to you doesn't make you filthy. Not in my eyes. And I remember what you said and did at the lab. Do you?"

Todd doesn't answer.

"You challenged him every time he threatened to hurt me," Kurt fills in.

"You still got hurt," Todd mutters.

"Still, a coward wouldn't have even done that. You knew he would hurt you. Still you spoke up. And you didn't give in when he claimed that you liked what he did to you," Kurt continues to point out.

"Because I didn't. Not once," Todd replies quietly.

"You were willing to try to protect me. And you weren't going to let him make you lie about what happened. Those are not the actions of a coward or a whore," Kurt states.

"Then whose actions are they?" Todd asks.

"Of Todd Tolansky. The man I love. Yes, he's broken. He's not very strong right now. But as time goes by, I believe he will heal. And he's already growing stronger," Kurt answers.

Todd again goes silent. Kurt waits patiently. He prays that his words reached him. And he prays that even if they don't, that Todd will still listen to him in the future. Because Kurt has decided that he will repeat these words over and over for the rest of his life if that's what it takes.

"Can I show you something?" Todd whispers.

Kurt is surprised by this request.

"Of course," Kurt agrees.

"It's...it's in your room," Todd mutters.

"I can port us there if you want," Kurt offers.

Todd nods his head. Kurt sets his hand gently on Todd's shoulder and both appear in Kurt's room in the midst of purplish vapors. Todd looks around and gets up. Kurt does the same and follows Todd over to the balcony. Kurt smiles at seeing his blanket and the sketch of himself. Todd picks up his leather journal and turns toward Kurt. With shaky hands, he holds the journal out to Kurt.

"Read this. Read this first then decide if you still feel the same," Todd whispers.

Kurt takes the journal.

"Todd, I don't need to..." Kurt starts to reply, moving towards his desk to set the journal down.

"Please Kurt. I need you to read it. It's...it's the only way I will be able to...to know," Todd pleas.

Kurt stops and looks back at Todd who has pushed his long hair behind his ears. The fear and pain he saw earlier in Todd's eyes is replaced now with pure desperation.

"Okay, Todd. Okay. I'll read it," Kurt accepts.

He takes the journal to his bed and sits down. With a deep breath, he opens the journal. Before even reading the first page, he watches as Todd sits down by the balcony doorway and peeks outside through the curtain. Finally, he begins reading the journal.

Kurt smiles for a moment when he reads the first two words, Dear Kurt. Something about reading just two words gives him a warm feeling and the confidence he's going to need to keep reading. And that's what he does for the next hour. Page after page, Todd filled with with not only his thoughts and feelings but wrote what he had gone through in those five years. Kurt pictures Todd sitting and writing these pages as quickly as he could, driven to get it all out. There were spots where the pen ink began running out and Kurt could tell he switched pens. He wonders how long did it take for him to write all this.

Now and then, tears spilled, trailing through his blue fur. He now knows that the burn scare on Todd's cheek was from landing a lucky punch against Pyro during a training exercise. That was his reward, punishment. Kurt could not imagine how much pain Todd was in when he had to clean the whole hideout on his hands and knees after getting whipped by Pyro's flames. Or how for four days he had to suffer from a untreated broken arm curtesy of Lockdown.

He feels the emotional pain Todd was in when he would think of his old comrades. The terror he felt when his two guardians would start drinking. The panic when he dropped a plate. The despair when they told him he has yet another year with them. The self disgust that would start the moment Todd was sent to sleep in a bedroom instead of the floor. The beaten down state Todd was in when they gave him a knife and tried pushing him to just give up and take his life. Even how badly he wishes he could forget all that happened in these five years.

The strongest emotion that fills Kurt as he reads is a sense of honor. Through his writing, Todd reveals that it was Kurt that kept him from giving in with that knife. Todd didn't have any hopes of them being together. All he wanted was to see Kurt one more time. One last time. At some point, Todd realized he loves Kurt just like Kurt realized he loves the amphibian like mutant. And this is what had kept Todd from completely giving up. What gave him the strength to live despite everything. It gave him hope. A drive.

Kurt never imagined he could possibly mean that much to someone. And Todd was willing to settle with just seeing him again. Nothing more. He understands Todd's current fear of losing him. Kurt had given him more than he ever expected.

Kurt finishes the last few lines. An apology for not telling him his feelings sooner. And a plea that he could at least see Todd as a friend. Kurt closes the book and sets it aside. Slowly he gets up and goes over to Todd, noticing that Todd is watching him from the corner of his eye.

"I told you. Things are different now, aren't they?" Todd says sadly.

"Yes, they are," Kurt agrees.

"I see. I promise I won't..." Todd starts to promise when Kurt again wraps his arm and this time his tail as well, around Todd's body, holding him tighter than before.

Again Todd doesn't move. His eyes widen in shock. "Kurt? Why are you?"

"I still love you Todd. Even more so now. Thank you for trusting me," Kurt whispers.

Kurt feels Todd raising his hands and Kurt braces himself to be pushed away again. Instead, Todd grasps Kurt's shirt, pulling him even closer. Todd presses his face against Kurt's chest. As he cries, Kurt tenderly strokes his hair until Todd stops shaking. He relaxes his hold and brings his hand up under Todd's chin, gently raising it.

"No matter what happens, I will not lose you again," Kurt whispers before bringing his lips to Todd's.

Todd's eyes slowly close as Kurt kisses him. He feels his body fill with warmth and renewed hope. Kurt knows everything now but still wants to be with him like this. As he melts into the kiss, he thinks that he too will do anything not to lose his furry blue elf.


	16. Epilogue

Wishing to Forget

EPILOGUE

X-men Evolution fan-fiction

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from X-men evolution. Wish I did. Wouldn't mind owning a few of them. But sadly I don't. So please don't sue me.

Warning:This will possibly be a slash meaning guy/guy rather than guy/girl. If that disturbs you, please don't read this story. Also very dark and angst compared to my other works.

If you are okay with my warning, then I hope you enjoy :)

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Kurt wakes up a good hour before their alarm clock is set to go off. A habit of his since his younger days. But that is the extent of this ol habit. Before he would get up, enjoy a warm shower then do some exercises and stretches before doing a run through the grounds. Now, he remains in bed. Not due to laziness or anything. It's because during this hour he gets to enjoy a special moment. A moment he would not trade for anything.

Slowly he shifts himself so he is propped up by his elbow, allowing him a better view of his sleeping companion. Todd is sleeping with his back turned towards Kurt. Kurt finds himself resisting the urge to brush the long brown hair out of his boyfriend's face. He will have to settle for hearing the steady in and out breaths this morning.

Kurt smiles happily when his eyes fall to Todd's left hand which is gently holding the end of Kurt's tail even in sleep. After the rescue mission, the pair found themselves sharing Kurt's room, rarely entering Todd's room. After a session with the Professor, they discovered that the dresser that was in Todd's room had been moved to Kurt's. But that wasn't the only change to the room. Kurt's twin size bed had been switched with a larger bed. Todd had been the one to notice this. He was also the one who suggested they try sharing the bed rather than sleeping on the floor.

Kurt had tried to convince Todd that he was okay with sleeping on the floor. But Todd revealed that he had noticed how stiff Kurt was in the mornings. Those first several nights were the roughest for the couple. It was quickly reaching the point where Todd was considering going back to his old room despite it being turned back to a storage room or asking Hank to drug him. Kurt remembers waking to Todd silently crying, his lip bleeding from biting it in an effort to keep silent.

Then one night, it just stopped. Kurt still can not believe the solution had been so simple. To be honest, he still doesn't understand it. It started out pretty bad. Todd was insisting he sleep on the floor next to the bed which he wanted Kurt to sleep in. But Kurt was being stubborn. Either they both sleep on the floor or both sleep on the bed. He had surprised Todd and himself by admitting he was afraid of waking up and finding Todd gone. This admittance made Todd agree to one more night on the bed. But Kurt had to agree hat if it doesn't work out, then Todd would sleep next to the bed on the floor. No more arguments on the issue. Kurt agreed despite that every fiber of his being was against the compromise.

So that night, they both laid down in the bed. Kurt used his tail to pull the covers over them. They laid for the longest time just watching each other. Both wanted this to work out. But both were afraid it never will. He remembers Todd jumping slightly when his tail moved under the blankets towards Todd. At moments like this, Kurt would wonder if the darn thing had a mind of it's own. Kurt remembers apologizing for it but Todd seemed not to have heard him. Instead, Todd reached out and took the leathery spaded end of his tail and lightly stroked the tip with his webbed fingers. It was one of the few moments that Kurt was happy his blue fur hides his blush, because every stroke was sending electrifying waves down his tail.

After a few minutes, Todd had fallen asleep with Kurt's tail in his hand. It wasn't until the next morning that both of them realized that Todd hadn't woken up once in the middle of the night due to either nightmares or flashbacks. They do this again the next night, hoping it wasn't a fluke. Turns out it wasn't. So this became their arrangement. Both slept in the bed. And like now, Todd would fall asleep holding Kurt's tail. Sometimes, like now, Kurt wonders if in Todd's subconscious his tail represents an anchor of sorts. A connection that Todd knows will lead him to the protective arms of Kurt Wagner. In moments like these, Kurt is sure that's what it is.

When Todd stirs, Kurt takes in a deep breath. He glances at the clock. There is still a good forty five minutes before the alarm goes off. When he looks back to Todd, he finds himself looking in a pair of sleepy eyes.

"Go back to sleep. There's still time," Kurt whispers.

"Mmm," Todd mumbles, shaking his head. Instead he moves himself closer to Kurt, his hands releasing Kurt's tail to reach out and touch Kurt's velvety fur.

Kurt can't help but think that a year ago, Todd wouldn't have been able to make such a small affectionate move. Todd was afraid that Kurt would reject such almost needy actions. The voices didn't help.

Thinking of the voices, Kurt wonders when was the last time Todd heard them. He knows Todd hasn't had any headaches in a long time. At least, not noticeably. That was another obstacle that they had to overcome. The first part was the hardest for Todd. He was afraid of how Kurt would think about him if he knew he still hears Pyro and Lockdown's voices as if they were still there. It took some coaxing and promises that no matter what, Kurt wouldn't think Todd was crazy. That no matter what Todd told him, he would stay by Todd's side.

So Todd told him about the voices and some of the ugly things they would say. Kurt's anger boiled within him towards those two mutants. But he was able to keep it down and grab Todd, pulling him into a tight embrace. The second part began at that moment. Kurt made Todd promise to seek him out when the voices started up. Didn't matter if he was in a Danger room session or not. Only obvious exception was if he was out on missions. So Todd promised.

Todd was embarrassed the first time he sought Kurt out. As it turned out, it was during a field exercise outside. Kurt had noticed him hopping out of the mansion, heading over towards him and the other X-men. Kurt excused himself despite the obvious irritations of the others and joined Todd. He had led him to the other side of the building and there they sat under the shade of a tree. Todd apologized for several minutes before he told Kurt what the voices were saying. Kurt could see the pain this was causing him. So he pulled Todd against his body and instructed Todd to listen only to his voice. There, sitting on the grass, Kurt battled the voices in Todd's head with all that was in his heart. This too became a routine between the two.

"Earth to fuzzy, anyone home?" Todd's voice interrupts his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry," Kurt replies with a smile. "How are you feeling about today?"

"About as nervous as I was when I entered the Professor's office the day you told the rest of the team about us," Todd answers honestly.

Kurt nods. He remembers that little event all too well. It was three months after the rescue mission when the Professor told Kurt it was time to inform the others. Kurt had wanted to argue but deep down he knew the Professor was right. Didn't make it any easier. Todd surprised him by insisting he be by Kurt's side when he confronted the others. So the next day, the Professor called everyone into his office. Kurt had trouble reaching out and turning the door knob to the Professor's office, knowing what was waiting for him. But Todd squeezed his hand and that gave him the courage to enter the office and face the others. As he told them that he and Todd are in a relationship, Todd never once let go of Kurt's hand.

Since then, the tempers have faded and the team seemed to accept it. Kurt knows the Professor and Rogue had something to do with that. In fact, lately the team has been making an effort to befriend Todd. Todd still tenses when one of the other members talk to him, special Scott or Logan but he was easing into it.

Which had led to today's scheduled event. Kurt still couldn't wrap his head around it. It seemed to have come out of no where. After dinner a few days ago, Kitty had stopped by their room with a interesting suggestion. To take both of them, Rogue, and herself over to the abandoned Brotherhood's boarding house. Before he could ask Kitty what she was even thinking to suggest such a thing, Todd had agreed to go.

They talked about this last night. Kurt didn't hide his concerns from Todd over his well being. But Todd assured him that he wouldn't have a relapse or anything. Todd told him he just needed to go. To see the old place where he lived before those horrible five years. Kurt couldn't argue. He spoke to the Professor without Todd and the Professor had explained that this might give Todd what he needs to keep moving forward. He trusts both of them so he let the issue rest. Still, this morning he shares Todd's nervousness.

"We have some time before we go. How about after breakfast we do a little exercise outside?" Kurt asks.

"Sounds good," Todd replies.

Both crawl out from the warmth of their bed and shiver from the chill of the morning air. Kurt turns off the alarm as Todd grabs some clothes and looks back at Kurt.

"Go ahead and get yours first. Need to stretch a little anyway," Kurt replies.

He watches Todd nod before leaving their room for the shower. Todd still has the habit of waiting for permission. Not nearly as bad as before but it was still there. Shaking his head, Kurt walks over to the balcony door and opens it. Stepping outside, he let's the gentle breeze ruffle his exposed fur. It is looking to be a beautiful day. He hopes that is a sign that what is scheduled to happen today will go well. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, Kurt starts his stretches.

A couple hours later, they all climb into the X-van. To Kurt's relief, Rogue gets into the driver seat. But something about the way Kitty keeps looking back at them from the passenger seat makes him nervous.

"Ah wonder what kinda shape we will find the place in," Rogue comments.

"Yeah, like that place always looked like a war zone. But I guess that's what happens when boys are allowed to do whatever," Kitty pipes up.

"Hey! Not all guys are slobs," Kurt injects.

"You're right. Scott is a total neatnic," Kitty replies, giggling.

"Yeah well at least we don't leave the bathroom looking like something out of a Sears makeup display. I have to search for my toothbrush half of the time," Kurt mutters.

"Yeah but we don't leave blue fur all over the bathroom floor either," Rogue remarks, smiling.

"Ugh! How many times do I have to say this? I don't shed!" Kurt cries out.

"Actually fuzzy, you do," Todd reveals.

There is a moment of silence before both girls burst into fits of laughter. Kurt is looking at his boyfriend with his mouth hanging open in shock. Todd is wearing dark blue jeans and a grey sleeveless hoodie. His hair is pulled back into a pony tail that somehow makes Todd appear younger. Todd blushes from Kurt's intensive stare but smiles back. Kurt finally recovers himself and begins to pout. He watches Todd panic out of the corner of his eye. With a exaggerated sigh, he grabs Todd and squeezes him despite the seat belt. He plants a light kiss on his boyfriends lips.

"Aww, that is actually really cute!" Kitty comments, grinning as she watches them both look away in embarrassment.

After a few minutes, Rogue puts the van in park and they all climb out. The first thing they notice is Lance's old jeep parked by the side of the house. Kurt shoots a questioning look over at Kitty who just shrugs. He follows Todd who hops over to it. He wonders what memories this is replaying in Todd's mind.

"Lance was always very proud of this old thing," Todd mutters.

"Yeah, he loved it. Did he ever tell you that he bought it?" Kitty asks.

"Heh, yeah. He bragged about it. Said he didn't want any handouts from the boss lady. Well, more than the usual anyway," Todd replies.

"Ready to go inside?" Rogue asks.

Todd nods but not before seeking out Kurt's hand. Kitty leads them to the front door but she surprises everyone when she knocks on the door.

"Kitty, no one is here," Kurt starts to point out when the door opens.

To his shock, there stands Lance, looking at them. He feels Todd squeezing his hand and Kurt is just about to teleport them away when Rogue lays a glove covered hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Hey. Come on in," Lance tells them before stepping back.

Kitty and Rogue both step back, allowing Kurt and Todd to enter first. As Kurt passes Kitty, he gives her a heated glare before stepping inside. The girls follow behind them as they follow Lance into the living room. Again Kurt feels the urge to teleport him and Todd away from here when he see's Fred Dukes sitting on the couch and Pietro Maxinoff standing in a doorway that leads into what Kurt assumes is the kitchen.

"What is going on?" Kurt growls out, moving himself in front of Todd.

"Easy Wagner. None of us are here to cause either of you any trouble," Lance responds, holding his hands up.

"What do you want?" Kurt asks, his voice not hiding the suspicion he feels.

"We just want to talk to Todd. No one has to leave. You don't even have to let go of his hand," Lance answers.

"It's alright Kurt," Todd says quietly.

Kurt looks back to his boyfriend, their eyes meeting. Kurt could see how afraid Todd was but he could also see the determination. Kurt steps aside and ignores the others, watching only Todd.

"Hey guys," Todd greets the others.

"Hey Todd! It's been awhile!" Fred returns the greeting, smiling at his former team mate.

"You're looking better," Lance comments.

"Thanks," Todd replies.

A few minutes of awkward silence passes before Fred stands up.

"You going to tell him or not Lance?" Fred asks.

"Oh, right. Well, we wanted to tell you that we left Magneto," Lance explains.

Kurt glances over at Pietro who meets his gaze evenly.

"That's good to hear. We should have done that sooner," Todd replies.

"Yeah, yeah we should have. Well. We got an offer from this organization called S.H.I.E.L.D.  
We're going to be the good guys," Lance tells him.

"Yeah, can't wait till we face Magneto again," Fred comments with a laugh, "We are going to surprise him." Fred punches his fist into the meaty palm of his other hand.

"You guys will do great," Todd replies, smiling.

"Todd, we all regret what happened. And I know I have no right to even be talking to you, but I'm really sorry," Lance tells him.

"It's okay," Todd replies. "I'm good now. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"It's not okay Todd. Did Kurt tell you that we talked?" Lance asks.

Todd swallows and nods his head.

"So you know that I know what you went through. Don't worry, I didn't tell these guys everything," Lance tells Todd.

Kurt notices that both Pietro and Fred look away. Maybe they don't want to know more after what Lance must have told them. Todd squeezes his hand.

"I'm always going to regret talking you into going with us. Telling you to trust me...tell me the truth Todd. You hate me, don't you?" Lance asks, already looking crestfallen.

Kurt watches Kitty move towards Lance, touching his shoulder.

"I...I tried to. I really wanted to when things got bad. But all I could do was hope that you guys weren't getting treated anywhere close to how I was. When I saw you guys after all that time, I was glad to see you. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you," Todd says quietly.

"Todd..." Lance can't think of what to say.

"Hey, Todd, so you and Nightcrawler finally got together huh?" Fred comments.

Kurt feels his tail go stiff as an board and his chest tightening.

"Yeah, we're together. But what do you mean finally?" Todd asks.

"Come on Tolansky!" Pietro cries out, making the couple jump. "You really believed that your sorry attempts at flirting with my sister was following anyone?"

"Umm...was it that obvious?" Todd asks quietly.

"Yes!" All three of the Brotherhood mutants reply all at once before laughing.

Todd looks up at Kurt, blushing for a moment.

"You all quit picking on him! Specially you Mr.Alvers," Kitty scolds.

"Sorry but it was. I mean after a fight with you guys all we would hear is fuzzy gecko this or blue furred freak that. It was really sad," Lance shares.

"You weren't any better," Todd points out.

"Still isn't," Fred adds.

"Yeah, we thought Lance was going to explode when you called him," Pietro tells them, "He was so red."

"I thought you were calling to tear me a new one," Lance mutters, looking at Kitty as she weaves her arms around his.

"I did. But I could hear you freaking out sonI let you off the hook. Anyway, isn't there something more you wanted to tell him?" Kitty asks knowingly.

"Yeah. Todd, we're going to be leaving in a few days. Don't know when we will be back. Probably not for some time. Would you like to hang out before we leave? Blue is welcomed to tag along of course," Lance offers.

"That would be cool," Todd replies.

"You could join us Tolansky. Working for S.H.I.E.L.D could do wonders for ya," Pietro comments, ignoring the glares from the others.

"No thanks Pietro. I'm accepting another offer. Sorry," Todd replies.

"Another offer?" Kurt questions, a bit surprised.

"I'll tell you later," Todd replies with a sly smile.

"Well, go on and check out your old room. We left a box or two in there in case there is anything you want to take with you," Lance says as he leads Kitty towards the kitchen, shoving Pietro as he passes.

Kurt watches Freddie sit back down and Rogue joining him on the couch to watch TV. Taking Lance's suggestion, Todd leads Kurt upstairs to his old room. Todd pushes the bedroom door open and steps inside. Kurt follows and is surprised by the amount of dust covering everything. Besides the boxes sitting on the mattresses, everything was covered in a thick layer.

"Wow," he hears Todd whisper.

"You okay Todd?" Kurt asks.

"Bit of a surprise seeing the gang. But I'm okay. Really," Todd replies, knowing what Kurt was asking about.

Kurt doesn't say anything as he watches Todd sit down on the bed. Like so many times before, Kurt envisions a younger Todd plopping down on the bed. Kurt smiles.

"So anything you want to take back with you?" Kurt asks, looking around the messy room, doubting Todd could find anything easily in this mess.

"Hmm. Maybe," Todd replies.

Kurt watches him get up and lift the mattress. He pulls out some scrap pieces of paper and a worn spiral notebook. Todd looks through these things for a moment before holding them out to Kurt.

"Take a look. Don't laugh though, okay?" Todd requests, not looking directly at Kurt.

Kurt takes the papers and notebook and starts to look through them. A smile forms on his blue lips. The papers were filled with doodles of a teenaged Kurt. There were a few of the others, both X-men and Brotherhood, but a majority were of Kurt. Kurt sets these into one of the boxes before wrapping his arms around Todd and kissing his exposed neck.

"So you really did have a thing for me back then?" Kurt asks.

"Of course I did," Todd replies.

"Why didn't we figure this out sooner?" Kurt questions.

"We were kids. And we were suppose to hate each other," Todd reminds him.

"I'm happy we don't have to pretend that anymore."

"Me too elf. Still, I wish we, you know, came together sooner," Todd whispers.

"We're together now," Kurt replies, resting his head against Todd's. He feels Todd reach up and places his hands on Kurt's arms.

"You kept me alive," Todd whispers.

"You do the same for me now. Because I can't imagine living without you," Kurt tells him.

Todd laughs. "I think you need to work on your sweet talking Nightcreeper. Maybe lay off of Kitty's romance collection."

"Says the guy who told her that we ran out of movies to watch. It's nice to see her happy again," Kurt comments.

"Yeah. Noticed she has been real nice towards me lately. Guess we know why, huh?" Todd comments.

"Mmhmm. So anything else you want to grab?" Kurt asks.

"Not sure. Those were the only things that came to mind. I honestly don't remember what I have here anymore," Todd admits, looking around the messy room.

"Then let's take our time looking," Kurt replies, finally releasing Todd.

They spend an hour moving things around and looking at various items they uncover. Most end up back on the floor. Not much had been added to the box when they were finished.

"I think that's everything to be found," Todd tells Kurt, shaking his head at the mess.

"Do you miss this?" Kurt asks, one of the questions that the Professor suggest he asks.

"Sometimes. Think I always will. It was home. Like Germany was for you," Todd replies.

"I see. Well I guess we should go," Kurt says before his foot gets tangled in an old shirt. He lands with an oaf.

"Kurt, you okay?" Todd asks, kneeling down besides his boyfriend.

"Yeah. Hey, here's something," Kurt replies as he picks up one of Todd's old black leather wrist bands. "You use to wear these all the time."

"Wow. Too bad I don't need them anymore," Todd replies, reaching out to take the bracelet.

Kurt looks at the leather weaves bracelets that are on Todd's wrists now. A gift from Rogue.

"We should take it with us," Kurt comments. "For nostalgia."

"I have a better idea," Todd replies. He grabs Kurt's tail.

"Hey!" Kurt cries out. He watches Todd snap it in place just below the spaded end. When Todd let's it go, Kurt wiggles it, testing it's movement with the bracelet on. He couldn't really feel it and it looked right somehow.

"Is that okay?" Todd asks nervously.

"It's great actually. Now I have something of you with me when I have to go on missions," Kurt replies.

"You won't really need it for that," Todd comments.

"What do you mean?"

"Because the next time you're going on a mission, I am too," Todd reveals with a smile before quickly hopping out of the room.

"Hey!" Kurt cries out, grinning ear to ear. He grabs the box and takes one last look at the bracelet on his tail before teleporting out of the room.

Several minutes later, in the room next to Todd's, an all to familiar red head watches as the X-men leave the Brotherhood boarding house.

"Well, looks like things turned out in the end for you. Wishing you the best mate," Pyro wishes before leaving the bedroom. Time to join his new team mates and try to keep his mouth shut concerning the newest member of the X-men.


End file.
